IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people believe that goverments should make the investment in building public libraries in every town, while others think it is a waste of money because we have access to information via the internet. Duscuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #goverments #investment #libraries #town #waste #money #access #information #internet #duscuss
I would
like
Add the particle
tolike
show examples
 refer
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
show examples
 Andrew O'Connor
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your care he was admitted
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 North West Rehabilitation Hospital due to a left CVA accident associated with right-sided paralysis. He requires assistance and will need continuous monitoring. He has minimal progress even though, he is on intensive physiotherapy and occupational therapy.
Subsequently
, he can mobilize slowly with a frame and he can feed himself. Significantly, he was advised for nursing home admission but, the family is reluctant. He needs assistance in regards to getting in and out of bed, toileting and dressing. On March 11 2010, handrails in the bathroom and bed rails were installed.
Additionally
, please monitor Mr O'Connor's coping mechanism at home, and check his medications. It would be appreciated if you could monitor his wife Mary's condition, she has angina. The
doctor
Change noun form
doctor's
show examples
 notes will be forwarded
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your nursing
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. Notably, he needs to visit a hospital
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
three times a week. We advise
Correct pronoun usage
you to
show examples
to visit
Change the verb form
visiting
show examples
 him two times daily.
Finally
, please
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
refer him to a hospital if deemed necessary. If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me.
Submitted by d_jayson08 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: