IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#governments #progress #people #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often believed that governments mainly focus on economic progress, while others believe that other spheres of development are important too. Both views on
this
Linking Words
 subject will be discussed,
however
Linking Words
, in my opinion, these tendencies towards the
economy
Use synonyms
 are negative. The advantages of focusing on economic advancements include a rise
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the products exported from a
country
Use synonyms
 and overall a wealthy population.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is assumed that the more government support the economic sector of a
country
Use synonyms
 has, the more beneficial it is to export products made within a
country
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the energy sectors in
countries
Use synonyms
 like Russia and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Arab Emirates have some government financial contributions,
thus
Linking Words
, resulting in more natural resources mined and sold on international markets because of high demand.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the more stimulated the economic market of a
country
Use synonyms
 is, the better
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 residents live.
For instance
Linking Words
, people from
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Arab Emirates are reported to be generally wealthier due to low inflation and
stable
Correct article usage
the stable
show examples
economy
Use synonyms
 of the
country
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, too much emphasis on the
economy
Use synonyms
 by the governments can lead to stagnation and other prosperous types of progress may be ignored.
First
Linking Words
 of all, too much focus on
Use synonyms
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 has a negative impact on the natural resources of a
country
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, many gas mining spots are exhausted,
hence
Linking Words
 damaging the
countries
Use synonyms
 that are entirely dependent on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gas exports.
In addition
Linking Words
, economically focused
countries
Use synonyms
 are believed to have been ignorant
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the other perspective types of progress.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
countries
Use synonyms
 are reported to have been only focusing on natural resources and not developing the intellectual market of skilled employees. To summarize, paying a lot of attention to economic development by authorities can have short-term benefits,
however
Linking Words
, the ignorance of other potential spheres is damaging in the long run. In my opinion, too much focus on
Use synonyms
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 is a negative trend because it can leave a
country
Use synonyms
 dependent only on exports.
Submitted by maria.alekseeva.1998.1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: