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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Living in big cities is bad for health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#cities #health
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İt is considered by some
people
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 that living in big
cities
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 is bad for
health
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. I completely agree with the opinion . İn my opinion , bad gases
such
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 as carbon dioxide and neon can be bad for
health
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 in big
cities
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 due to
Correct article usage
the
show examples
use
a
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of a
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car
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 or the
health
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 of
people
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 can affect badly in big
cities
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 due to
unemployment
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.
Firstly
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 , big
cities
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 have more
people
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 than other small
cities
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 ,and
thus
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this
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Correct your spelling
situation
stuation
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situation
 is becoming more crowded .
People
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 generally prefer
to
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apply
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their vehicles
such
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 as
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car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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,
bicycle
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bicycles
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,
Correct word choice
or boat
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boat
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boats
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for travel or
job
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 . Unfortunately , these vehicles reveal bad gases ,
afterwards
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,afterwards
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 these gases affect badly for human
health
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 .
For instance
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 , Los Angeles has
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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eight million humans in
the
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apply
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America and everybody who lives in Los Angeles generally uses
to
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apply
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their
car
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 for
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job
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jobs
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 or travel , and
thus
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the
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apply
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global warming increased in the world . Another point to consider is that many presidents who are in the big
cities
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 live many troubles because
unemployment
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 increases gradually in the big
cities
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 . Everybody who
live
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lives
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 in the big
cities
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 wanna have
the
Correct article usage
a
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job
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 right , and
thus
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 they apply for jobs .
Therefore
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unemployment
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 takes place in the big
cities
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 . On the one hand ,
people
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 which are
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unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
 be
Correct your spelling
stress
strees
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stressed
due to came pressure from their families , and
therefore
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
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 right can't be given to these
people
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 who live
this
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 problem .
Also
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 , these
people
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 who are
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
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 begin
struggle
Add the particle
to struggle
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 with some bad things like cancer and depression .
For instance
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 , a man who is
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unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
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struggle
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struggles
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 with cancer due to
unemployment
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 in the big
cities
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 . İn conclusion , in my opinion living in big
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cities
Add the comma(s)
,cities
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 is bad for
health
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 because
people
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 who live in the big
cities
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 affect badly due to
Correct article usage
the use
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use
Wrong verb form
using
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a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
car
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 or
use
Wrong verb form
using
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 any vehicle in the world .
On the other hand
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 ,
people
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 who live in the big
cities
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 struggle with much trouble
such
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 as cancer and depression .
Submitted by atescagdas826 on

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