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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that money is the best gift to give to young people while others think other types of gifts are better for young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #gift #gifts
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It can be a struggle to select an appropriate
gift
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 for a young relative or the child of a friend.
While
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 some believe that
money
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 is the best type of
gift
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, I agree with those who suggest other
gifts
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 are more suitable. Many people believe that
money
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 makes an excellent present. Proponents of
this
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 view may suggest that young people already have what they need in terms of toys and gadgets
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
so giving them more will not be of benefit. They
also
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 argue that the young may actually learn valuable skills from the process of choosing to save or spend their
money
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.
For example
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, if the young
person
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 chooses to spend the
money
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, they will learn the value of things that they wish to buy and what they can or cannot afford.
This
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 could make them more financially mature and independent.
On the other hand
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, I am in agreement with those who believe that actual
gifts
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 are better than
money
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. An important reason is that
money
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 is quite an impersonal
gift
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 since it shows no understanding of the interests of the receiver. It is
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
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 more appropriate to give something that shows the adult understands the desires of the young
person
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,
such
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 as a piece of
jewelry
Change the spelling
jewellery
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or the shirt of his/her
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
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 sports club.
Furthermore
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, an educational
gift
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,
such
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 as a book, or a useful
gift
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,
such
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 as a watch, allows the young
person
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 to develop or improve his/her skills and so is directly beneficial. In conclusion,
whereas
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 many believe that financial
gifts
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 may increase independence and be popular, I side with those who suggest
gifts
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 showing an understanding of the young
person
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 or which are educational are more beneficial. It is clearly important to consider the needs and interests of young people when selecting
gifts
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by amir.safa1984 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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