IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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It's become increasingly common for
kids
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 as young as five to have access to
media
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 players, computers, and mobile phones. While some see
this
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 as a step in the right direction for
kids
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' education, others worry that young
kids
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 are being exposed to too much screen
time
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 too soon. Do some writing about how
technology
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 has changed elementary school for the better for the youngest students. Provide justifications and instances to back up your claim.
Although
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 it's commonly assumed that
kids
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 suffer negative
effects
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 from screen
time
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, many people argue that there are positive outcomes for
kids
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 who use
technology
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 for education. From where I sit, it's clear that there are beneficial and harmful consequences for
kids
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' exposure to electronic
media
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.
This
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 essay will provide a thorough analysis of the arguments on both sides of the debate. For one, there are undeniable advantages, at least from my perspective.
To begin
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, the use of
technology
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 in education has the dual benefit of increasing students' exposure to and proficiency in foreign languages. Arena of Valor,
for instance
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, is a form of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cerebral game that demands astute strategy and dexterity at the hands to succeed at. Because of
this
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,
kids
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 may use intellectual games as a way to hone their reasoning skills across the board. On the other side, while there are many positive
effects
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 of
technology
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 on
children
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, there are
also
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 some detrimental ones. In the beginning, youngsters who spend too much
time
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 on their electronic devices may develop reliant on them to the detriment of their academic performance.
Children
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 may spend less and less
time
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 studying as they devote more and more
time
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 to activities like playing video games and interacting on social
media
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.
Children
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 are especially vulnerable to the potentially damaging
effects
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 of exposure to inappropriate content when using electronic devices.
Children
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 can easily access content
that is
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 inappropriate for their age due to the abundance of apps and programmers available on Google and YouTube. One way in which
media
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 can have a negative impact is through the portrayal of violence, which can encourage undesirable behaviour in youngsters.
Furthermore
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, there is an abundance of harmful challenge videos on YouTube that are very engaging to
kids
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 and urge them to participate, despite the grave risks to their physical and mental health that
this
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 behaviour poses. In light of what has been discussed, it is clear that there are benefits and drawbacks to introducing
technology
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 to youngsters. To counteract the negative
effects
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 of
technology
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 on learning, both
children
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 and their parents should restrict screen
time
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.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable practices
  • cultural literacy
  • hands-on experience
  • nutritional awareness
  • curriculum integration
  • time management
  • resource allocation
  • school gardening projects
  • animal husbandry
  • ecosystem education
  • dietary habits
  • work ethic
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