IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

City planners’ new designs include setting up schools, markets and commercial places (like office) in different areas of the city. Do you think it will help the city dwellers?

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Due to
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 the advancement of Technologies, many types of buildings are erected nowadays, buildings are mainly constructed by contractors with new innovative ideas. Contractors play a vital role in updating the city's infrastructure by introducing open modes of education and trade conclaves and these types of development for the native society. I agree with the given statement and the reason for my argument is discussed
further
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 in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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,city developers develop cities in specific manners which contain more space efficiency.
As a result
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, the efficient public can live more freely than in a congested environment .
Furthermore
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, the community can asset markets and Commercial areas in an efficient manner and
fastly
Correct your spelling
fast
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 through good eco-friendly transportation.
For example
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, Saudi Arabia was proposed in line, which is constructed through the middle of it. Desert the line has
fall
Correct article usage
a fall
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 or eco-friendly atmosphere, and the community can access everything within minutes.
Secondly
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, by developing a new school and office.Students can study in a highly facilitated atmosphere.Through
this
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 students can enrich their mode of study.
In addition
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, folk who work in different
offices
Fix the agreement mistake
office
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 sectors in a huge building and
also
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 get the advert advantage of the newly constructed building because through some type of elevators and escalators public can save their time and help to focus more on work. In conclusion, the government can encourage city planners to change
the
Change the word
their
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 face with more attractive and
with
Change preposition
apply
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useful facilities

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structure
Make sure to clearly outline your main points in the introduction. This will help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence
Ensure your paragraphs flow logically from one to the next, using transitional phrases where necessary. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.
content
Try to expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your overall task achievement.
structure
You included a clear opinion in your introduction, which sets the foundation for your argument.
content
Your essay presents some relevant examples, particularly the mention of Saudi Arabia's development, which helps illustrate your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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