IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

#people #managers #decisions #company #employees #decision #process
There is
only
Add an article
the only
show examples
head
Correct article usage
the head
show examples
 of
department
Correct article usage
the department
show examples
 thought by someone to make decisions in the factory, while
opined
Correct quantifier usage
others opined
show examples
 by others that employees too should involve in the
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
 process in any
productions
Fix the agreement mistake
production
show examples
. Admittedly, all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
productions
Add an article
the productions
show examples
 will have numerous problems that should be solved by
leader
Add an article
the leader
a leader
show examples
.
As
Correct your spelling
A
show examples
 numbers of ordinary populations think that
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
show examples
 alone will fix any issues since they are the leader of the department and
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
responsibility
Correct pronoun usage
their responsibility
show examples
 of them.
On the other hand
, certain companies open
door
Fix the agreement mistake
doors
show examples
 for employees to aid to find the solution to solve any problems. So, it will put the company in a better position to fix
Add an article
the issue
show examples
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 as there will be
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of opinions.
Furthermore
, productions are contributed
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 many factors that it cannot run if lacking
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
something. So,
opinion
Correct article usage
the opinion
show examples
 of the operator will have
variety
Add an article
a variety
the variety
show examples
 that issue will be fixed so fast and production can keep going. In fact, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
managers will put every problem to
foreman
Correct article usage
the foreman
show examples
 or employee to find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way to fix it.
Moreover
, they will be waiting to punish them if they cannot solve the issue. To conclude,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of more opinion from all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the accessory
show examples
accessory
Fix the agreement mistake
accessories
show examples
 outweigh
opinion
Add an article
the opinion
show examples
 of a mere man.
Thus
, the executives of
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
 should be open-minded
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
ideas
Correct article usage
the ideas
show examples
 of employees.
Submitted by amittawin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: