IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that immigrants should adopt the local culture when immigrating to a new country. An alternative view is that they can adapt to a new environment by establishing a short community. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #immigrants #culture #country #alternative #environment #community
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Migrants
 moving
another
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to another
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 country to settle
their
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there
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 by adopting the current
country
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country's
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culture
 and some
migrants
Correct pronoun usage
who want
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want
Wrong verb form
wanting
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 to start their own
culture
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 arguably noticeable. Will
this
 help to bring
a
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apply
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new prosperity or create problems when the residents
in
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of
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 the current nation oppose them
?.
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?
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This
easy
Correct your spelling
essay
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 will
Correct your spelling
discuss
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discus
Correct your spelling
discuss
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 the merits and demerits
about
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of
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 the own
culture
 of
immigrants
 and
adapting
Correct your spelling
adopting
show examples
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
new
culture
 using a pragmatic approach.
Firstly
, the important thing is that when society is democratic
then
 only the newcomers will have a chance to propose their own
culture
.
For example
, if you go to Western Countries like Europe, USA or Canada the locals will show interest in knowing about the new customs and they do adopt them if they are interested. In short, if the country follows democratic rule
then
 there is
possibility
Add an article
a possibility
the possibility
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 for the
immigrants
 to introduce their own customs and values. Another crucial factor is that it is every individual’s interest in
adapting
Correct your spelling
adopting
show examples
a
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to a
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new
culture
 or not. If the nation is followed by a monarchy rule and the
migrants
 migrating to those nations should be adopting the new
culture
 for their livelihood.
For instance
,
migrants
 in Pakistan, Afghanistan and Iraq where they follow the monarchy rule, proposing a new
culture
 will create problems in their nations and
to
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for
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immigrants
 as well.
Lastly
, in my opinion, it is every person’s own decision in following their own
culture
 or choosing a different one. The
immigrants
 should be respecting other
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 values as they respect their own traditional values.
Submitted by 09_hones_copy on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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