IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today food travels thousands of miles from the farm to the consumers. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative trend?

#food #thousands #miles #farm #consumers #trend
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Today, the
food
in
Change preposition
on
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 our tables comes from all over the world, thanks to developments in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international transportation systems.
Although
,
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apply
show examples
 accessing
variety
Add an article
a variety
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 of products creates convenience
to
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for
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the
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apply
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consumers,
this
 thesis believes that
this
 movement is extremely
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
 to our environment. Today, our market shelves are filled with international products . People can easily access
to
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apply
show examples
the ingredients even if it is not possible to grow that type of
plants
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plant
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 in their region.
Moreover
, they can find
variety
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a variety
show examples
 of quality and price, depending on the origin of the
food
.
For example
,
although
 it is not possible to farm in
UAE
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the UAE
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due to
climate
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the climate
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, you can easily buy
the
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apply
show examples
freshly grown vegetables
in
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at
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 any time of year. Even though
this
 provides many
oppurtunuties
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opportunities
, I believe transporting goods globally has more harm than good. Because
,
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apply
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 current global logistic systems still
uses
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use
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 fossil fuels like gas,
oil
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and oil
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 for ships and planes, which are the biggest enemies of our planet in terms of sustainability. First of all, all
this
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these
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 resources are finite and importing goods from across the country creates
huge
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a huge
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 amount of consumption.
Secondly
, the vehicles
creates
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create
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 gas emissions and pollute the air.
Researches
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Research
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 found that
food
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the food
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 industry uses 17 more fuel than commercial
avition
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aviation
. With
given
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the given
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 samples, for a sustainable
Add a comma
word,
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word
Correct your spelling
world
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 we can not
contunie
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continue
 using the current
food
sytems
Correct your spelling
systems
. In conclusion,
although
 modern technology
make
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makes
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 it convenient
of accessing
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to access
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food
 globally,
it
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its
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 effect on the planet can not be unseen. That's why I strongly suggest that
world
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the world
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 needs
more
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a more
show examples
 sustainable
food
 system in future.
Submitted by tugcekakirman on

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task response
Overall, the essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the trend of food traveling long distances. The writer presents clear and comprehensive ideas supported by relevant examples. Ensure to further elaborate on the negative impacts of international food transportation.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, consider strengthening the connections between the ideas and expanding on the environmental impact of global food transportation for better coherence and cohesion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global supply chain
  • import/export
  • agricultural technology
  • logistics systems
  • consumer preferences
  • exotic foods
  • climate variation
  • seasonal availability
  • food security
  • natural disasters
  • economic benefits
  • developing nations
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