Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #rise #obesity #children

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It is undeniable that the number of

children

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suffering from

obesity

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have

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has

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risen significantly nowadays. Some people consider that the governments should take

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apply

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serious action on

this

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issue because it is their responsibility. From my point of view, I personally disagree with

this

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viewpoint for many reasons, described in the following paragraphs. It is true to say that the

government

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plays a vital role in public

health

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management. They can support

children

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to avoid

obesity

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by increasing

sport

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sports

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facilities

such

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as fitness equipment within communities in order to encourage

children

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to exercise more often and provide healthcare policy.

Additionally

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, they can control harmful food on sale which can make

children

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lack awareness of choosing a meal, leading to unconscious consumption of eating sweets and junk food.

However

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, there is nothing the

government

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can do if

children

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still have unhealthy habits.

Therefore

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this

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can be considered

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apply

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an individual responsibility.

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, It can be seen that nowadays

children

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tend to focus on social media or online games rather than outdoor activities which

enable

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enables

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them to pay less attention to their

health

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because they do not have a chance to exercise.

Consequently

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, it increases the cause of

obesity

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among them. In conclusion, I believe that

this

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problem should not be placed only on the shoulders of the

government

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. Both authorities and

children

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should collaborate together to be responsible for the growth of

obesity

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children

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. While the

government

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maintains overall public

health

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, each child should be in charge of their own

health

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because choosing to exercise and eat

healthy

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healthily

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is in the control of each individual.

Submitted by ariyabiebl2608 on Fri Sep 02 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

policies
responsibility
health and well-being
education and awareness programs
childhood obesity
food advertising and labeling
unhealthy food
supportive environments
recreational facilities
collaboration
healthcare providers

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Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some children spend hours every day on the smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many people nowadays decide not to work for a large company but to become self-employed. What problems might this decision cause? What can they do to solve these problems?

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that devoting one's time to family activities is more important than spending time working. Others believe that dedicating one's time to work is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.