There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#factors #people #workforce #money #reason #factor

Many today argue that money is the most important aspect that makes

employees

remain in their workplace.

However

, I strongly disagree with

this

opinion as I believe that job satisfaction and a good working environment are factors that could motivate

people

to stay in their job.

Employees

that feel satisfied in their jobs are more likely to stay and are more productive than those that receive

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

salary but

feels

Correct subject-verb agreement

feel

show examples

miserable. When

people

are contented and happy, they can produce better outputs and are motivated to do more, leading to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

career growth.

For instance

, nowadays, many young

employees

are leaving their

high paying

Add a hyphen

high-paying

show examples

jobs and

switch

Wrong verb form

switching

show examples

to careers where they are happy and fulfilled,

although

the pay is low.

Hence

, money is not always the reason for individuals to stay in a job.

Moreover

, many

people

also

keep their current positions not because of the great compensation but because of the working environment.

Employees

that feel valued by the company are presumably going to keep their careers than those

that

Correct pronoun usage

who that

show examples

notice

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they are not appreciated.

In addition

, a good relationship with other members of the company is

also

a factor that contributes to a good working environment.

For example

, a company that provides career growth and development, respects and supports their staff will mostly retain them and a team with a good communication strategy and acknowledge and trust every member will definitely make them want to stay. In conclusion, I believe that

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

salary is not the most important piece that motivates

people

to stay but it is when they are satisfied and are valued in their work.

Submitted by leola_8ef on Fri Sep 02 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
basic needs
career advancement
pension
job satisfaction
sense of purpose
social connections
workplace relationships
intellectual stimulation
societal norms
earning potential
motivation
livelihood
financial independence
professional growth

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, school staff find it difficult to teach pupils how to work together in groups. Many people indicate that it is easy to teach kids teamwork by organizing sports competitions such as football or basketball where children have to play in a team otherwise it may cause defeat. I fully agree with this statement and this essay will try to outline the benefits that school children can get by playing sports games.
7
band
Over recent years, mobile phones have become an indispensable tool in our daily lives. However, there are several problems such as social and medical which must not be ignored. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones.
Mobile phones have become increasingly popular in recent years, becoming an integral part of our daily lives. They offer numerous services that assist with our regular activities and provide entertainment. However, despite their usefulness, mobile phones can be addictive and negatively impact our social and health lives.
7.5
band
Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people assert that the considerable amount of money invested in space exploration would be better off if spent on benefiting the nation. While I concur that there are numerous pressing national issues to address, space exploration should be continued because of the potential new materials and accommodational benefits provided by it.
4.5
band
more and more people are no longer read the newspaper. Thaet get news about the world through the internet. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
It is only fair to say that internet news has become one of the most disputed and argued ideas all over the globe with its advantages and disadvantages that affect our lives in different aspects. In this essay, I will explore the advantages and disadvantages of Internet news before giving my opinion on the issue.
7
band
In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
There is an argument going on regarding whether in the next few years, all self-driven vehicles will be converted to a drive-less version, as the passengers will be carried to any place they wish for. I believe that this statement might be beneficial due to a variety of positive effects it may bring that outweigh its drawbacks.

There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Over recent years, mobile phones have become an indispensable tool in our daily lives. However, there are several problems such as social and medical which must not be ignored. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones.

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

more and more people are no longer read the newspaper. Thaet get news about the world through the internet. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?