There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#factors #people #workforce #money #reason #factor

Many today argue that money is the most important aspect that makes

employees

remain in their workplace.

However

, I strongly disagree with

this

opinion as I believe that job satisfaction and a good working environment are factors that could motivate

people

to stay in their job.

Employees

that feel satisfied in their jobs are more likely to stay and are more productive than those that receive

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

salary but

feels

Correct subject-verb agreement

feel

show examples

miserable. When

people

are contented and happy, they can produce better outputs and are motivated to do more, leading to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

career growth.

For instance

, nowadays, many young

employees

are leaving their

high paying

Add a hyphen

high-paying

show examples

jobs and

switch

Wrong verb form

switching

show examples

to careers where they are happy and fulfilled,

although

the pay is low.

Hence

, money is not always the reason for individuals to stay in a job.

Moreover

, many

people

also

keep their current positions not because of the great compensation but because of the working environment.

Employees

that feel valued by the company are presumably going to keep their careers than those

that

Correct pronoun usage

who that

show examples

notice

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they are not appreciated.

In addition

, a good relationship with other members of the company is

also

a factor that contributes to a good working environment.

For example

, a company that provides career growth and development, respects and supports their staff will mostly retain them and a team with a good communication strategy and acknowledge and trust every member will definitely make them want to stay. In conclusion, I believe that

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

salary is not the most important piece that motivates

people

to stay but it is when they are satisfied and are valued in their work.

Submitted by leola_8ef on Fri Sep 02 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
basic needs
career advancement
pension
job satisfaction
sense of purpose
social connections
workplace relationships
intellectual stimulation
societal norms
earning potential
motivation
livelihood
financial independence
professional growth

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There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The government should spend more money on medical research to protect citizens’ health rather than on protecting the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

the best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?