There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#factors #people #workforce #money #reason #factor

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Many today argue that money is the most important aspect that makes

employees

Use synonyms

remain in their workplace.

However

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, I strongly disagree with

this

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opinion as I believe that job satisfaction and a good working environment are factors that could motivate

people

Use synonyms

to stay in their job.

Employees

Use synonyms

that feel satisfied in their jobs are more likely to stay and are more productive than those that receive

high

Add an article

a high

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salary but

feels

Correct subject-verb agreement

feel

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miserable. When

people

Use synonyms

are contented and happy, they can produce better outputs and are motivated to do more, leading to

Remove the article

apply

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career growth.

For instance

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, nowadays, many young

employees

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are leaving their

high paying

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high-paying

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jobs and

switch

Wrong verb form

switching

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to careers where they are happy and fulfilled,

although

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the pay is low.

Hence

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, money is not always the reason for individuals to stay in a job.

Moreover

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, many

people

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also

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keep their current positions not because of the great compensation but because of the working environment.

Employees

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that feel valued by the company are presumably going to keep their careers than those

that

Correct pronoun usage

who that

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notice

Correct word choice

apply

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they are not appreciated.

In addition

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, a good relationship with other members of the company is

also

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a factor that contributes to a good working environment.

For example

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, a company that provides career growth and development, respects and supports their staff will mostly retain them and a team with a good communication strategy and acknowledge and trust every member will definitely make them want to stay. In conclusion, I believe that

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

salary is not the most important piece that motivates

people

Use synonyms

to stay but it is when they are satisfied and are valued in their work.

Submitted by leola_8ef on Fri Sep 02 2022

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
basic needs
career advancement
pension
job satisfaction
sense of purpose
social connections
workplace relationships
intellectual stimulation
societal norms
earning potential
motivation
livelihood
financial independence
professional growth

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There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more ?