IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?

It is
fact
Correct article usage
a fact
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 that making money is very easy
as
Correct word choice
apply
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compared to how to use or invest it. wealth management is a significant skill that everyone should learn whether it is in schools, colleges or universities. So personally, I am in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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favour of
this
Linking Words
 statement that it should be a part of their study, in school as a major subject. First and the foremost reason is the inflation rate. It has increased from 2.5 to 7.5
Per cent
Correct your spelling
per cent
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 in the
last
Linking Words
 five years. Not only
this
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, but the prices of basic groceries and fuel
also
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 climbed drastically in
past
Correct article usage
the past
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 few years.
This
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 means, that people who do not know how to invest their capital in different public sectors are unable to grow their whole life. Let’s take
an
Correct article usage
the
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 example of a famous businessman
name
Replace the word
named
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 Mukesh Ambani, who started his investment journey in 1980 with only 200 rupees. And right now he is the world’s third richest man.
That is
Linking Words
 called the power of wealth management and investment.
In addition
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 to that , if kids will have
this
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 subject in their studies they will understand the value of funds and be able to create their own assets and liabilities at a younger age.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they will learn how they can make capital by putting their treasure into simple assets like properties and shares.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, they should be taught by their teachers the famous quote from the book “Rich
dad
Capitalize word
Dad
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 and
poor dad
Correct your spelling
Poor Dad
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” which said, “ I don’t want to work for money, money will work for me". In conclusion,
according to
Linking Words
 me, having subject management of wealth in schools and colleges makes our kids more reliable and efficient.

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task response
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your idea.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion are present. The introduction should clearly state your position and the conclusion should summarize your main points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • curriculum
  • fiscal responsibility
  • money management
  • budgeting
  • saving
  • investing
  • adult population
  • financial decisions
  • educational systems
  • theoretical curriculum
  • practical life skills
  • real-life experience
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