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Band 5.5

Now there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children . To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #parents #time #work #children #support
Irrefutably,
parents
 play an inevitable role in order to
mold
Change the spelling
mould
show examples
 their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
. The task in hand brushes on the aspect that nowadays social constraints have been increasing in an astounding manner involving youngsters as the majority of
parents
 spent
time
 at
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
 or workplace in comparison with their infants. In my conviction,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 don’t have any considerable reservation on
this
 aspect because it has exerted various problems
such
 as 'Generating bad habits' , Lack of social
knowledge
 and so on,and my stances are totally in line with
such
 a school of thought. Commencing with, in
this
 21st century, certain
parents
 have to do work in order to run bread butter for their family.
However
, by
this
 means, numerous menaces have been generated which become noxious for
parents
.
First
 and foremost, juveniles have
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
appeal
towards
Change preposition
to
show examples
 bad habits
such
 as smoking and drinking. To explicate, owing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
parents
 are working adults
take
Correct pronoun usage
who take
show examples
 the advantage of
this
 situation and influence
towards
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bad
society
 and get addicted to smoking and drinking.
For instance
,
according to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the survey
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
'WHO' found that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents
 who are working professionally their
children
 are addicted
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 smoking and drinking because their guardians don't have ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
 due to work stress.
Therefore
,
children
 fascinate by bad habits which create social problems.
Furthermore
, the
parents
 who spent most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
time
 in
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
 than with their
infants
Change to a genitive case
infant's
infants'
show examples
 cause
'Lack
Correct article usage
a 'Lack
show examples
 of social
knowledge
'
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
. To clarify
this
, it cannot be denying the fact that in order to develop the intellectual skill of broods
parents
 play a dominant role because
parents
 are those who are capable enough to nourish their child according to them as they have profound
knowledge
 and experience of
society
 that how to deal with it.
For example
, according to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research by ‘WHO’ revealed that the
parents
 who are working
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
children
 are not proficient to deal with
society
.
Therefore
,
children
 have to go through
this
 menace as their
parents
 are not able to spend
time
 with them. To conclude
this
, it has been articulated that
children
 if
parents
 spent
time
 at work as compared to their
children
 escalate several problems
such
 as
dominance
Add an article
the dominance
show examples
 of bad
society
 and scarcity of social
knowledge
.
However
, guardians should have to thrive their infants under their surveillance.
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

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