Some people thing that the best way to reduce time spent in traveling to work is to replace gardens and park close to the city center with apartments and building for the commuters, other disagree. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

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People have different views about saving time in transportation to get workplace through collapsing public gardens and parks which are situated in the city centre.

Nevertheless

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, I believe that replacing public recreation places with apartments and buildings will outweigh the drawbacks compared to the given benefits.

Firstly

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, reducing time is the key feature to

get

Verb problem

apply

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succeed

Replace the word

success

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these days,

whereas

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became

Wrong verb form

has become

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one of the hardest things to do.

In addition

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, in

this

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modern

era

Add a comma

era,

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workers have received various ways to work more efficiently and effectively than in the past few years.

Such

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as computers, zoom meetings and some crucial methods of Microsoft,

according to

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a recent survey in London,

it is clear that

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using digital equipment minimises people’s stress and making effortless to obtain the desired result.

On the other hand

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however

Add a comma

however,

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degeneration of natural spaces can bring global warming which is extremely harmful for

further

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days.

Similarly

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, building more and more apartments will close the spaces that people use for leisure activities.

For instance

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, nowadays young generation is more affected by online

based-games

Correct your spelling

games

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instead

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of physical sports.

For example

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, in ,Singapore more than 82% of people have access to video games rather than playing sporty activities which is helpful for their health

also

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Hence

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this

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would be a major obstacle to influencing them on electronic curriculum by reducing gardens and parks for developing travelling routes. In conclusion, It has large disadvantages to converting entertainment places into working apartments near staff accommodation.

Furthermore

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, It is pointless to change gardens and parks

for saving

Change preposition

to save

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time than to find other systems to get to workplaces more easily.

hrhabib9856Sat Sep 03 2022

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coherence cohesion

Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt but lacks a clear stance. It discusses the pros and cons of replacing parks with apartments but does not clearly express an opinion.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas and examples lacks coherence and cohesion.

18
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

commute time
traffic congestion
pollution reduction
urban areas
proximity
work-life balance
recreational areas
air quality
biodiversity
aesthetic
livability
mental health benefits
accessible green spaces
public transportation infrastructure
remote work
urban redesign

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Some people thing that the best way to reduce time spent in traveling to work is to replace gardens and park close to the city center with apartments and building for the commuters, other disagree. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Overpopulation is the world's most serious environmental problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The most important education for students should be conducted in classroom，not out of the classroom.

Many people realize that people living in the 21st century generally have a better quality of lives than people born in earlier centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?