IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many museum across the world charge an entry fee from all visitors. Some people agree that entry to the museum should be free. To what extent do you agree or disagree???

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, a large number of people prefer to be Self-employed others,
however
Linking Words
, prefer to work for a company or organization,both of which have their own benefits and drawbacks that I'll explain in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
First
Linking Words
 of all, when you're working independently,you don't have a fixed income since your income can vary dramatically based on how your business is running.
This
Linking Words
 might be quite stressful for people who aren't able to take some risks in their lives.
Moreover
Linking Words
,when you are self-employed, you may not get insurance from an organization and an income in your retirement or might not get a pension.
However
Linking Words
, working for yourself has its own advantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when people sign a contract with a company to work for them, they have a fixed salary, but if you're an entrepreneur and your business becomes successful you might get wealthy in a short time and earn millions of dollars, something that simple workers working for companies, will never reach in their lives.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when you are self-employed, you decide when it is time to go to work and when not, but simple workers have to be present and leave their office at a specific time. In conclusion. I think that
although
Linking Words
 there are some drawbacks to running a business on your own,I think making progress is something essential in your life and it is worth facing those hardships
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because by working for others you will reach a limit that you can not go
further
Linking Words
 and as a
resault
Correct your spelling
result
, you won't achieve your dreams.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: