IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

#salary #job #satisfaction
It is often argued that it is more advantageous to choose a
job
 with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 wage ,even if it does not appeal to you at all.I completely disagree with
this
 opinion and think that
job
satisfaction
 is much more important than
salary
.
First
 of all,I believe that
job
satisfaction
 gives people a sense of fulfilment that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a high
salary
,but feels tense and compromises with his conscience,
this
 person won't enjoy his life.While pursuing one's interests will always bring pleasure and
Correct article usage
a feeling
show examples
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
 of
satisfaction
.
For example
, a lot of famous researchers made their career choices
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
 because of appealing wages,but because they were passionate about science.That's why it's more important to choose the kind of work that makes you happy than look only at
high
Add an article
a high
the high
show examples
salary
Secondly
, doing what you like keeps you motivated and
therefore
 leads to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
career growth.
In other words
,there is a strong
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
 between
job
satisfaction
 and productivity.People who live their jobs can easily excel in their fields of work and achieve better results than those who put
salary
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
 place.
For instance
,Henry Miller decided to leave his everyday
job
 despite a good wage and ventured to become one of the most famous and well=paid authors of the twentieth century.
Thus
,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of jobs that keep you satisfied outweigh the drawback of a low
salary
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 a
long -term
Correct your spelling
long-term
show examples
 perspective.
Submitted by chathuri1982.cn on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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