some people think that modern games can help children develop wide range of skill . but other think that traditional game can be much better for developing such skills. What is your opinion?

It is an undeniable fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
nowadays
children
are spending more time on virtual
games
than traditional
games
. Some people believe that local
games
have more benefits than modern
games
.
This
topic is debatable.
This
essay will discuss both points of view in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, due to the advanced technology it is proven that , modern
games
can affect mental and physical abilities as they are spending more time on phones and laptops.
Moreover
, many youngsters suffer from diseases like vision problems and headaches Another disadvantage of
this
approach is , obesity which
also
Correct your spelling
increases
increase
increasase
Correct your spelling
increases
day by day in
children
and it affects them in long run. To cite an example , as per the " Times of India " newspaper 40% of
children
are suffering from obesity owing to sedentary lifestyles. On the other side, some people think that traditional
games
boost the skill of young ones.
Furthermore
, some
games
such
as puzzles,
alphabets
Correct word choice
and alphabets
show examples
improve cognitive skills in
children
. Another relevant argument to support my justification is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
most traditional
games
are outdoor
games
and they help
children
when it comes to health and well-being. Traditional
games
are important for mental health
also
. To conclude the aforementioned arguments, computer
games
have both merits and demerits . But parents should keep eye on their offspring to control the use of modern
games
. While traditional
games
are most beneficial for
children
. Parents should encourage them to play the traditional
games
more so it would be more beneficial for them in long run.
Submitted by Harsh prajapati  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: