some people think that modern games can help children develop wide range of skill . but other think that traditional game can be much better for developing such skills. What is your opinion?

#people #games #children #range #skill #game #skills

It is an undeniable fact that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

nowadays

children

are spending more time on virtual

games

than traditional

games

. Some people believe that local

games

have more benefits than modern

games

This

topic is debatable.

This

essay will discuss both points of view in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

with, due to the advanced technology it is proven that , modern

games

can affect mental and physical abilities as they are spending more time on phones and laptops.

Moreover

, many youngsters suffer from diseases like vision problems and headaches Another disadvantage of

this

approach is , obesity which

also

Correct your spelling

increases

increase

increasase

Correct your spelling

increases

day by day in

children

and it affects them in long run. To cite an example , as per the " Times of India " newspaper 40% of

children

are suffering from obesity owing to sedentary lifestyles. On the other side, some people think that traditional

games

boost the skill of young ones.

Furthermore

, some

games

such

as puzzles,

alphabets

Correct word choice

and alphabets

show examples

improve cognitive skills in

children

. Another relevant argument to support my justification is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

most traditional

games

are outdoor

games

and they help

children

when it comes to health and well-being. Traditional

games

are important for mental health

also

. To conclude the aforementioned arguments, computer

games

have both merits and demerits . But parents should keep eye on their offspring to control the use of modern

games

. While traditional

games

are most beneficial for

children

. Parents should encourage them to play the traditional

games

more so it would be more beneficial for them in long run.

Submitted by Harsh prajapati on Sun Sep 04 2022

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people think that modern games can help children develop wide range of skill . but other think that traditional game can be much better for developing such skills. What is your opinion?

Your opinion

Some people think that planting trees in open space cities and towns is more important than building houses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Student should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits students individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do anything. Others believe that men and women are not equal and therefore are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

In some countries, students live at home with a family while they study at university, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do the advantages of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?