many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less Sugar. do you agree or disagree?

many manufactured food and drink
products
contain high levels of
sugar
, which causes many health problems. sugary
products
should be made more expensive to encourage
people
to consume less
Sugar
Fix capitalization
sugar
show examples
. do you agree or disagree? it is accepted that
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of
sugar
in different processed food and drinks may lead to getting several diseases. some
people
believe that increasing the
price
of sugary goods can prevent
people
from using too much
sugar
.
however
, I personally believe that it is not the best way to reduce these
products
Change noun form
products'
show examples
consumption. rising the
price
of any commodities might bring about some negative results.
firstly
, when the
price
of a good goes up, many
people
will be deprived of using it.
in other words
, it is not their choice to consume less. they are
forces
Wrong verb form
forced
show examples
by
economic
Add an article
the economic
show examples
situation.
Secondly
, it is worth noting that excessive
use
of
sugar
can cause health problems.
therefore
, individuals have to pay more despite the fact that they do not decide to
use
high levels of
sugar
.
finally
, when the
price
of a commodity climbs, the
price
of other goods will respond to
this
change relatively.
consequently
, the inflation rate will increase and families' welfare will decline.
for example
, when the
price
of essential goods increased in our country, Iran, due to increasing the exchange rate, the inflation rate went up rapidly. there are other efficient ways which are able to control
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sugary
products
consumption.
to begin
with, families should be informed about the consequences of
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
excessive
use
of
sugar
such
as high blood pressure.
Moreover
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should warn the community of medication
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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in case of involving a chronic disease
create
Change the form of the verb
created
show examples
by malnutrition. in conclusion, it is undeniable that containing high levels of
sugar
in
diet
Add an article
the diet
show examples
may lead to several illnesses.
although
some commentators claim that increasing the
price
of sugary food can encourage the community to
use
less, I personally believe that other ways like raising public awareness can act more
effective
Replace the word
effectively
show examples
.
Submitted by m.tasan on

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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