IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that government should ban dangerous sports, such as sky diving and rock climbing.Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #ban #sports #sky #rock
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Some
people
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 love to live
adventurous
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an adventurous
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life
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lives
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 and like to explore
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature and do
the
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apply
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thrilling activities. According to some, sports like sky diving and rock climbing should be banned which could hurt physically.
As per
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In
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Correct pronoun usage
my
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me
Add a comma
,me
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 these sports should never
banned
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be banned
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.
Although
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, these activities are
Correct your spelling
somewhat
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some what
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somewhat
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 dangerous but give chances to explore
the
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apply
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nature and if it is done under supervision with proper support they are less dangerous . According to some
such
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 kind of physical activity can bring lifetime disability so government should ban these.
For
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example
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,example
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 sky diving can give you a lifetime disability or some can die. Same for Rock climbing as well , if someone is climbing on a mountain with no rope or helmet and slips it can
led
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lead
be led
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 to serious injury . One more example of
such
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 kind of sport is scuba diving where a person can interact with dangerous creatures and can be hurt. so as per some these
kinds
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 of activities should be completely banned so that there won't be any chances of mishappening in sports.
However
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, understanding the negative effects, If these
games
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 are performed under
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the
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supervision and proper training will help
people
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 to learn more . On the other
, hand
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the, hand
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 government should encourage these
kinds
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 of
games
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at in
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in
Correct your spelling
an
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 early age
like
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by
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 making similar
kinds
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 of replicas in parks or community centres so that kids can enjoy themselves and be more active.
for
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example
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,example
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 rock climbing can make kids more flexible. as per me driving a car is
also
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 dangerous but
people
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 do it after proper training so the same goes for adventurous
games
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 as well. To sum up,
instead
Linking Words
 of banning
such
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kinds
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 of
games
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 the government should encourage
people
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 to live happening life but providing proper trainers and by inspecting on a regular basis that
such
Linking Words
 kind of
games
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 is not performed without trainers.
Submitted by pooja.raikwar27 on

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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