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Band 5

In many cities around the world pollution levels have risen in recent years.why are some cities becoming more polluted? what effects does this have?

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Introduction
Nowadays,
pollution
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 levels have risen in many
cities
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 around the
Correct your spelling
world
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word
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world
show examples
 and some
cities
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 becoming more polluted than other. In
this
Linking Words
essay
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,essay
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 I will explain the
cases
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causes
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 and effects with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
relevant
relevent
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relevant
 examples.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
, why some
cities
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 are more polluted than
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
? I suppose that
main
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the main
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 reason is the high level of
population
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 for an instance, in japan they can't bear the country
population
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 and government made strict rules and regulation to decrease
population
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. I am sure that
high
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the high
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population
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 cause to risen world
pollution
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 and it made
lot
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a lot
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 of
wastage
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waste
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.
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Secondly
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,Secondly
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 I believe the cause of
this
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 fact is
lot
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a lot
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 of construction and manufacturing companies run in the urban areas and they get
use
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used
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 to natural
resource
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resources
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 and some companies use
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apply
show examples
in appropriate
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inappropriate
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 methods to out of their wastage and garbage. A lot of centres enhance to develop their main facilities without using the environmental resources.
This
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 paragraph with highlight the urban areas and
main
Correct article usage
the main
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 causes of
this
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 trend.
Body paragraph 2
The possible effects of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 causes include health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 and global warming.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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 it
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definitely
definitly
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definitely
effects
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affects
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the natural resource Because
high
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a high
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 level of future consumption. For
an
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apply
show examples
example according to the reason
reseach
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research
 conducted by
university
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the university
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 of Colombo, they assume
world
Add an article
the world
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 will be vanishing after 10000 years’ consequence of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
over
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apply
show examples
pollution
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.
Pollution
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also
Linking Words
effect
Change the verb form
effects
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental problem
such
Linking Words
 as
damage
Correct article usage
the damage
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of
Change preposition
to
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 ozone.
Conclusion
to sum up,
pollution
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 is a big problem and some
cities
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 are becoming more polluted than
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
. It
Add a missing verb
is manly
show examples
Correct your spelling
mainly
show examples
manly
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mainly
show examples
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
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 by high
population
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, construction and manufacturing companies and mainly effect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health problems, global warming and future consumption.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emissions
  • contaminants
  • respiratory illnesses
  • smog
  • carcinogens
  • sustainability
  • aerosols
  • ecosystem degradation
  • wastewater treatment
  • green initiatives
  • carbon footprint
  • urban sprawl
  • renewable energy
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