The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

To start off with, The
offense
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offence
show examples
rate is reducing these days according to past thanks
technology
Change preposition
to technology
show examples
which can avoid and figure out
Add an article
the offense
show examples
offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
. If we examine the opinion given above, the
technology
can help the
police
, there are advantages and disadvantages. Let us refer to advantages, the fugitives can be located with a checking ID card in airports, bus stations,
train
Correct word choice
and train
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stations. Every street has cameras now
thus
you can catch the thieves immediately.
Moreover
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,Moreover
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with the
fingerprint
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,fingerprint
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the murders come to
ligths
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light
lights
Correct your spelling
easily
easyly
Correct your spelling
easily
.
furthermore
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,furthermore
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The government can access secret and important information.
However
,
people
lost their privacy. Unfortunately,
people
are more afraid of the
police
and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
. Not to mention, the trust
people
have in each other decreased. I strongly agree that The
offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
rate is reducing these days according to past thanks
technology
Change preposition
to technology
show examples
which can avoid and figure out
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
.
For example
, in my
country
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,country
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the rate of thieves
is reduce
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is reduced
is reducing
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%
55
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by 55
show examples
thanks to alarm systems and indoor camera systems. The
people
who can not resist the thieves are very satisfied with
this
situation. As mentioned above,
doing
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apply
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checking ID carts in every airport and
stations
Fix the agreement mistake
station
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for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fugitives, when I was waiting for my bus in the station, the
police
caught a man who was waiting in line after me.
This
incident scared me a little at
first
but I was relieved when I saw the strength of the
police
. İn
paris
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Paris
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and in the 1980s, every week had been finding a body in the dump. Thankfully, through the
technology
of fingerprint and
dna
Correct your spelling
DNA
detections
Fix the agreement mistake
detection
show examples
police
can put jail the murderer the number of bodies
reduced
Add a missing verb
is reduced
show examples
. İn conclusion, despite there are some disadvantages,
technology
benefits when solving crimes and the number of crimes
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased.
Submitted by emrekaanozkan01 on

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