Some people believe that they should keep all the money they have earned and should not pay tax to the state. Do you agree or disagree with the above notion?

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Many individuals think governments should not levy taxes on the salaries of citizens,
while
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some say the
money
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they
earned
Wrong verb form
earn
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is supposed to pay
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tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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to the nation. From my perspective, I personally believe that keeping all the
money
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we have
got
Verb problem
apply
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is usually more equitable. In
this
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essay, I will explain my viewpoints in detail in the ensuing paragraphs. There are plenty of reasons why keeping all the property
instead
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of paying taxes to the government has a vital role to play in contemporary society. The persuasive cause is that the population getting higher
salary
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salaries
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have to pay more
tax
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, which is an unfair regulation.
This
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phenomenon,
for example
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, may decrease the percentage of poor people and reduce the poverty in a country;
however
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, those who make better earnings usually spend lots of time to achieve their success.
Therefore
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, it is pointless to determine how much
tax
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would be paid by the amount of salary.
Besides
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the aforementioned, there are
also
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a variety of advantages to having all the income.
Firstly
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, citizens would work harder to find a high-salary job because the
governments
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government
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won't take away any
money
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from them.
Secondly
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, after earning more wages, people can do more meaningful things.
For instance
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, some folk would apply for relevant certifications to improve themselves in their leisure time by spending their salaries.
Moreover
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, in
this
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situation, the state would become better and better. These indicate that the governments do not levy a
tax
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on citizens' wages bringing some positive effects. In conclusion, despite the fact that a few populations approve that we should pay
tax
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through our yearly income, keeping all the
money
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indeed has more benefits for both individuals and society as a whole.
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Task Response
Task Achievement: The essay does not fully respond to the task. It is important to present both sides of the argument and provide a clear opinion supported by reasons. Additionally, the essay lacks relevant specific examples to support the arguments. Develop a balanced argument and provide specific examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay needs improvement. Ensure that ideas are organized in a clear and logical manner to better support the overall argument. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion should be more developed to effectively frame the essay.
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