Some people believe that they should keep all the money they have earned and should not pay tax to the state. Do you agree or disagree with the above notion?

Many individuals think governments should not levy taxes on the salaries of citizens,
while
some say the
money
they
earned
Wrong verb form
earn
show examples
is supposed to pay
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
to the nation. From my perspective, I personally believe that keeping all the
money
we have
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
is usually more equitable. In
this
essay, I will explain my viewpoints in detail in the ensuing paragraphs. There are plenty of reasons why keeping all the property
instead
of paying taxes to the government has a vital role to play in contemporary society. The persuasive cause is that the population getting higher
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
have to pay more
tax
, which is an unfair regulation.
This
phenomenon,
for example
, may decrease the percentage of poor people and reduce the poverty in a country;
however
, those who make better earnings usually spend lots of time to achieve their success.
Therefore
, it is pointless to determine how much
tax
would be paid by the amount of salary.
Besides
the aforementioned, there are
also
a variety of advantages to having all the income.
Firstly
, citizens would work harder to find a high-salary job because the
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
won't take away any
money
from them.
Secondly
, after earning more wages, people can do more meaningful things.
For instance
, some folk would apply for relevant certifications to improve themselves in their leisure time by spending their salaries.
Moreover
, in
this
situation, the state would become better and better. These indicate that the governments do not levy a
tax
on citizens' wages bringing some positive effects. In conclusion, despite the fact that a few populations approve that we should pay
tax
through our yearly income, keeping all the
money
indeed has more benefits for both individuals and society as a whole.
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Task Response
Task Achievement: The essay does not fully respond to the task. It is important to present both sides of the argument and provide a clear opinion supported by reasons. Additionally, the essay lacks relevant specific examples to support the arguments. Develop a balanced argument and provide specific examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay needs improvement. Ensure that ideas are organized in a clear and logical manner to better support the overall argument. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion should be more developed to effectively frame the essay.

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