Some people believe that they should keep all the money they have earned and should not pay tax to the state. Do you agree or disagree with the above notion?

#people #money #tax #notion

Many individuals think governments should not levy taxes on the salaries of citizens,

while

some say the

money

they

earned

Wrong verb form

earn

show examples

is supposed to pay

tax

Fix the agreement mistake

taxes

show examples

to the nation. From my perspective, I personally believe that keeping all the

money

we have

got

Verb problem

apply

show examples

is usually more equitable. In

this

essay, I will explain my viewpoints in detail in the ensuing paragraphs. There are plenty of reasons why keeping all the property

instead

of paying taxes to the government has a vital role to play in contemporary society. The persuasive cause is that the population getting higher

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

show examples

have to pay more

tax

, which is an unfair regulation.

This

phenomenon,

for example

, may decrease the percentage of poor people and reduce the poverty in a country;

however

, those who make better earnings usually spend lots of time to achieve their success.

Therefore

, it is pointless to determine how much

tax

would be paid by the amount of salary.

Besides

the aforementioned, there are

also

a variety of advantages to having all the income.

Firstly

, citizens would work harder to find a high-salary job because the

governments

Fix the agreement mistake

government

show examples

won't take away any

money

from them.

Secondly

, after earning more wages, people can do more meaningful things.

For instance

, some folk would apply for relevant certifications to improve themselves in their leisure time by spending their salaries.

Moreover

, in

this

situation, the state would become better and better. These indicate that the governments do not levy a

tax

on citizens' wages bringing some positive effects. In conclusion, despite the fact that a few populations approve that we should pay

tax

through our yearly income, keeping all the

money

indeed has more benefits for both individuals and society as a whole.

Submitted by a0111590317 on Mon Sep 05 2022

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Task Response

Task Achievement: The essay does not fully respond to the task. It is important to present both sides of the argument and provide a clear opinion supported by reasons. Additionally, the essay lacks relevant specific examples to support the arguments. Develop a balanced argument and provide specific examples to support your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay needs improvement. Ensure that ideas are organized in a clear and logical manner to better support the overall argument. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion should be more developed to effectively frame the essay.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Discuss some of the effects of rural depopulation (migration from the country to the city) and suggest some ways on which this trend could be reversed.