IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

#parents #children #consequences #style
There is a social phenomenon that some
children
 are doted by their
parents
. In my opinion, it is an incorrect method to cultivate
children
, which may cause a series of negative long-term influences
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the growth of
children
. There are several reasons why I strongly believe that doting
children
 is
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 way to educate
children
.
Firstly
, it does not help
children
 develop a correct sense of right or wrong
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things
ignore
Correct pronoun usage
that ignore
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the consequences.
In addition
, they
don’t
 know if they can do it because of
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
 parenting style.
Secondly
, it is more likely to let
children
 develop some bad
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, which even lead to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime.
For example
, once their
parents
don’t
 agree with their demands, they might do something crazy, like losing their temper, running away from home, and even killing their
parents
.
On the other hand
,
children
 growing
in
Change preposition
up in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 indulgent environment are more likely to develop a
self-centered
Change the spelling
self-centred
show examples
 personality in the future. because they
don’t
 have the ability of self-control as well as a clear limit of whether what they can do.
Also
, they make a decision only in terms of their mind rather than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality.
For example
, after they enter the workforce, if they
don’t
 achieve their work goals ,they tend to lose their temper
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 other people or pass the buck, because they rarely look to themselves for reasons, so they may be ostracized by other colleagues. In conclusion,
parents
 should use
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 correct way to lead
children
,
this
 method can not only help
children
 develop
optimistic
Correct article usage
an optimistic
show examples
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
,but
also
 help them fit into society in the future.
Submitted by 514007694 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • indulgent
  • entitlement
  • discipline
  • responsibility
  • nurturing
  • self-reliance
  • adversity
  • autonomy
  • validation
  • dependence
What to do next:
Look at other essays: