IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays television and the Internet have a greater influence on children's behavior than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#television #internet #influence #children #behavior #parents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates the survey data about the reasons for people migrating to the capital over a period of fifteen years between 2000 and 2015. The four main factors included job opportunities, study, family or
friends
Use synonyms
, and adventure.

Overall, all reasons for people moving ended the period with a higher number than at the beginning. The top two popular reasons, which were employment and education exhibited steadily upward trends, while the others, family/
friends
Use synonyms
 and adventure, showed marginal rises over the years. Employment is the main
reason
Use synonyms
 which started with the number of 60000 in the year 2000
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and had gradually gone up to 8500 by 2005, after which levelled out for a decade, with the same amount of the
reason
Use synonyms
 for studying at nearly 90000 in 2015. In regards to studying, the
second
Linking Words
 popular
reason
Use synonyms
, it is worth noting that it was only 25000 in 2000, steadily growing for the following ten years, before it rose quite rapidly from 2010 to 2015, reaching the peak at around the number of 88000, which was almost quadrupling than at the beginning.
Next
Linking Words
 came family/
friends
Use synonyms
, and the
reason
Use synonyms
 for adventure took the
last
Linking Words
, both of which were 10000 in the year 2000;
however
Linking Words
, family/
friends
Use synonyms
 were more than doubling to 2200 in 2015.
Submitted by a0111590317 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: