IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops or on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#phones #places #libraries #shops #transport
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Even though mobile
phones
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 are indispensable equipment in modern life, there are some debates about the negative sides. It is believed that these devices should be prohibited in public spots. From my point of view, I only partly agree because
although
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 public society will enhance due to the
ban
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 on mobile
phones
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, there are some necessities they bring to us. On the one hand, there are many reasons to
ban
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 mobile
phones
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 in public areas.
To begin
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 with, on account of curiosity, a number of urban children spend the most time on
phones
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such
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 as playing games, surfing Facebook and watching TikTok videos,
instead
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 of being involved in outdoor activities and interacting with friends, resulting in inactivity.
In addition
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, many adolescents use mobile
phones
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 for their own benefit
such
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 as to attract people by taking many selfie photos or films in dangerous spots despite warming and posting on social media.
This
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 leaves consequences that many people imitate the videos and put themself in danger.
On the other hand
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, it is undeniable that mobile
phones
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 bring many benefits to humans.
Phones
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 are devices providing information in every aspect of life, especially for those overseas, conveniently searching data about places by using mobile
phones
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 so
phones
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 can improve the standard of life.
Furthermore
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, they are used for communicating with others
although
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 from any distance. To be specific, when someone is injured in an accident, people around will call an ambulance to take them to the hospital to save them
in
Change preposition
apply
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time. To summarize, while there are many social benefits due to the
ban
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 on mobile
phones
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, the need for them is that they must be handy at all times. As I said, I partly agree with
this
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 policy. I think the government should choose
middle ground
Add a hyphen
middle-ground
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 solutions for the
ban
Use synonyms
Submitted by phumicheal123 on

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