IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many developing countries, there is an increased movement of workers from rural areas in to cities. Why do you think this happens? What problems can this cause?

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In the modern era, enormous people from the countryside have increasingly immigrated to urban areas, which is a concern in numerous underdeveloped countries across the world. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay, the causes of huge immigration and the adverse
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects

It seems that effect may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 on humanity will be presented before my conclusion is reached. The first reason that leads people to move
into
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the big cities is a better opportunity. There are more available jobs, which provide a high salary compared to rural zones.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a fresh graduate can work as a receptionist in hotels, an officer in prestigious companies, a teacher in schools, and so on, but it is very difficult to find these types of careers in remote areas.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the capital city has better infrastructures including shopping malls, schools, universities, hospitals, cinemas, etc., which facilitate citizens to have better well-being. These two main reasons encourage individuals to move to urban zones. Despite career advancement and better livelihood, urbanization has disastrous effects on individuals.
To begin
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, overpopulation in the capital city can contribute to anxiety and depression among citizens
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 traffic congestion. To illustrate, living in Bangkok, Thailand, the highest rate of traffic jams city in the world, I have to spend more than an hour on the road
every day
Replace the word
everyday

The word every day may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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commuting, which makes me stressed and bored.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, pollution attributed to urbanization can trigger related health problems. Residents living in urban are prone to various illnesses
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as asthma, migraine, and so on because they are surrounded by smoke released by cars and buses. In conclusion, urban immigration is the predominant concern for all countries worldwide. the main cause of the problems is that people seek better careers and well-being in life. Eventually, mental and physical health problems become the
detrimentrious
Correct your spelling
detrimental

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effects of urbanization.

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task response
The essay addresses both the causes and effects of rural to urban migration as well as provides relevant examples to support the points.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally follows a logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be more clearly presented. The main points are supported with examples, but there is room for improvement in the overall coherence of the essay.
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