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Band 4.5

online classes make conventional classroom unneccessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#classes #classroom #unneccessary
It is argued that online classes make conventional classrooms
unneccesary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 partly agree with
this
 because there are various
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 among both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online classes and traditional classrooms. Online
classess
Correct your spelling
classes
 which appear during the quarantine of covid-19. It
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 people to study
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many types of application
such
 as Google
meet
Capitalize word
Meet
show examples
, Zoom, Microsoft
team
Capitalize word
Team
show examples
, Shub
classroom
Capitalize word
Classroom
show examples
 and more. During the
covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
 pandemic, schools are not allowed to open so that the government can cut down the number of people who
injured
Add a missing verb
are injured
show examples
.
Students
 and
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 can
also
 help each other online with activities
such
 as studying with a lesson that has already been prepared on electronic devices and can keep up with the
cource
Correct your spelling
course
 in every subject without losing a lesson which can be filmed with
online
Correct article usage
an online
show examples
 learning website.
This
 type of studying can
also
 help remote
students
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
access the class easily without distance and with only a device
such
 as
phone
Change the article
a phone
show examples
 or
ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
 which is given by our government,
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the a speech they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
said that
eduction
Correct your spelling
education
show examples
 is
prior
Correct article usage
a prior
show examples
 duty. But
this
 can not
as
Add a missing verb
be as
show examples
 efficient as conventional class because
students
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 always follow or
undertand
Correct your spelling
understand
 the teacher and can be
absented
Replace the word
absent
show examples
due to
 the lack of development of internet connection or about electricity issues. With conventional classes,
students
 can understand clearly and can ask and answer the question face to face with the teacher or friends, be able to be raised awareness directly
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
,
do
Correct word choice
and do
show examples
 not have to worry about lack of electronic devices because of the income of
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
 or about electricity which mentioned before but not with the distance from their home to school and some of the problem about the school tuition. All in all, both of them are good for
students
 who can act
immidiately
Correct your spelling
immediately
 in
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 when the disease comes or any
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 problems that can distance
students
 from school. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
 and teachers will choose the online method and some are opposite but if it can enhance
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
abillity
Correct your spelling
ability
 or knowledge, it will
use to
Verb problem
be
show examples
 them so that they can develop themselves in
education
Correct pronoun usage
their education
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Submitted by thuynguyensp2711 on

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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents your stance on the issue and outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more coherently, ensuring that each paragraph flows logically from the previous one, and that there is a clear introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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