More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work . What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?

In
this
con-current
Correct your spelling
current
show examples
age, numerous people have a propensity of relocating from agro-economic rural areas to urban cities for greater career opportunities.
This
essay accords that the prime outcomes associated with the tendency are worker shortages in the countryside and a surplus of the workforce in the metropolitan areas which becomes a responsible trend to create several issues in both regions and
firstly
, a multitude of government initiatives and
secondly
, arranging myriad youth based training programs to create attention for the villages can be taken as the most viable solutions. To commence with, two major issues regarding the relocation of the staff are the scarcity of labour in the remote sectors and
consequently
, a plethora of enhancing the pressure of manpower in the municipal sides consistently.
This
is because of low payments and insufficient occupation opportunities, most individuals search for better aspects in larger places since they provide better working conditions.
However
, for
this
migration system, both stances are front on to stringent situations
likewise
, owing to the dearth of the local population another massively important advancement
such
as infrastructure-based development cannot be established in
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
places; resulting extreme proportion of the public, many of them would not be able to manage their desire jobs in the biggest cities.
For instance
, in Dhaka- the capital of Bangladesh - the maximum human portion is prone to resettle in the downtown
then
townlet, and eventually, both parts have to face the aforementioned problems.
Moreover
, plenty of actions can be
occupied
Verb problem
taken
show examples
to remove certain drawbacks. The paramount nub is that a vast range of steps taken by the governing body; if the administration manages different plans for the well-being of the suburbs' inhabitants,
for example
, creates awareness by the social media how the folks might be chosen their best tasks staying in these places with the agro-based economy where impeccable technology could be used.
Furthermore
,
although
the youngster has to absorb huge theoretical education rather than practical knowledge in most cases, if various training programs
would be
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
organized there
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
be no necessity to go mentioned zone choosing employment. In Japan, because of taking the "save village -save the nation" strategy with productive coaching
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
to
bearing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
tremendous improvements. In conclusion, shifting from a small region to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
larger one for a better future play a pivotal role
negatively
Rephrase
apply
show examples
in the shortage of employee in
hamlet
Capitalize word
Hamlet
show examples
and the excess of personnel in cities. Taking operative programs by selected authorities and giving skills through realistic teaching to the youth community is a noteworthy measure to remove narrated difficulties.
Submitted by mosumi431985 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear but could be improved by organizing the ideas more coherently. The ideas lack strong connections and transitions, making it difficult to follow the line of reasoning.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and focus. The introduction should provide a clear overview of the main points to be discussed, while the conclusion should summarize the key ideas and provide a final thought or recommendation.
task response
The essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of task response. It covers the main points of the question, but the ideas could be more clearly developed and supported with relevant examples.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: