Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. Disucss both these views and give your opinion.
There is a controversial discussion about which subjects should be given the greatest importance in the academic curriculum. On one hand, some people believe that the past should be given importance whilst others are of the opinion that systems and technology should be considered significant. I opine with the latter view.
Firstly
, it is true that young people should be aware of their evolution, as it provides knowledge about their culture and gives them Linking Words
identity
. Correct article usage
an identity
Moreover
, by learning their traditions and culture they will be able to impart them to the next generation. Linking Words
As a result
, in the coming era, these values will be maintained by the future generation. Linking Words
For instance
, In China, the past is a mandatory topic every year of school. Linking Words
Hence
, students study about their pre-historic period and proudly learn Linking Words
their
Chinese Civilization.
Change preposition
about their
Secondly
, Linking Words
although
the past is significant to learn, a person should grasp an in-depth knowledge of Science and Technology. It is of paramount importance because, In Linking Words
this
modern period, the demand for a person with high technical skills is more in the job market. Linking Words
For example
, the findings of a study conducted by Harvard Business School provide information that more than 40 % of students study computer art Linking Words
instead
of history in high school.
Linking Words
To conclude
, it is indeed important for individuals to know about their origins and history but learning about practical subjects like education and technology will greatly enhance their skills. Linking Words
Thus
, learning about both subjects is significant, but the latter subject should be compulsory in academics.Linking Words
Submitted by Abhishek on
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Task Response
The essay mostly discusses the two views, but it would benefit from a clearer expression of the writer's own opinion and a more balanced discussion of both views.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a well-structured logical flow, but the introduction and conclusion could be improved to better summarize the main points and present a stronger opinion.