Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#life #expectancy #people #workforce

it is argued that nowadays, human beings live longer than in past decades.

Therefore

, from some point of ,view elderly

people

ought to proceed with their job. I entirely disagree with the statement

Change preposition

that

show examples

elderly

people

should continue their

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

. In my opinion, currently,

this

segment of society is less productive than younger. To justify my opinion, they

Verb problem

are

show examples

not flexible.

This

is because they are bad at meeting deadlines

for

this

reason big companies look for agile employees.

Along with

that, elderly

people

get a higher remuneration than those

people

who are up to 60 years old. Manufacturers have the inclination to hire workers who work on a low income. To give a clear example of

this

, most of the big USA companies moved to China because of lower labour wages.

That is

why

people

who are above 65 fall behind younger. I

also

think that as technology develops in the workplace, elderly

people

face adaptation issues. They have hardship in learning the latest devices.

However

, rivals are brilliant at absorbing machinery.

Hence

, elderly

people

have fewer chances to be taken on jobs than others. To give a clear example, international companies like Schneider, siemens and

Correct your spelling

show examples

implement internship programs.

In other words

this

decrease

Change the verb form

decreases

show examples

elderly

people

's opportunities to keep in their career.

This

is why they should take retirement, by doing

this

they will open the doors for youngers to embark on a new career

To conclude

, though, some

people

think that elderly

people

should continue their

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

, I completely disagree with

this

statement because they have difficulty comprehending new mechanisms in factory

Submitted by malikli.malik1995 on Thu Sep 08 2022

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coherence cohesion

In order to improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph follows a clear and logical structure, and use cohesive devices such as transition words and pronouns to connect ideas and create flow.

task achievement

Your essay lacks complete response in addressing the task. Make sure to fully answer the question, present clear and comprehensive ideas, and support them with relevant specific examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
workforce
mentorship
mental and physical health
community engagement
rapidly changing work environments
economic stability
age discrimination
workplace adjustments
financial strain
pension systems
diversifying
creativity
problem-solving
retirement norms
flexible working hours
part-time positions

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Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many countries have embraced tourism as a way to boost their economies and create jobs for local residents . However ,some argue that tourism can have negative impacts on the environment and local cultures. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism for a country?

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. What is the cause?What can be done to deal with this.

Some think that climate change reforms will negatively affect business. Others feel they are an opportunity for businesses. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Topic: Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?