IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You recently took up a part-time job for a local company. After a few weeks, you realized there were some problems with the job. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter: explain why you took up the job describe the problems you experienced suggest what could be done about them

#job #company #weeks #manager
Dear Sir, I am lily. I have joined the part-time job as a Receptionist in your Paradise Hotel since May. I have taken the job to gain some experience and which would
Add a missing verb
be helpful
show examples
helpful
Replace the word
help
show examples
 in my future career
also
. I am writing to your kind attention to
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 issues that I have encountered in the Hotel. I have noticed that some of
night
Correct article usage
the night
show examples
 duty staff
sleeps
Correct subject-verb agreement
sleep
show examples
 inside the rooms or quarters
instead
 to be
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 duty. Literally, I and Lindsay- who
is
Wrong verb form
am
show examples
also
 a new employee, work and manage everything at night. They even do not bother to come to the reception area at busy hours when we have an influx of guests - usually on Friday nights. I believe
this
 is against the rules.
Moreover
, breakfast is supposed to be ready before 7:00 am but it is not the case. Sometimes the guests have to wait till 8:00 am for breakfast to arrive. Some of the guests have lodged complaints regarding
this
. I thought you should be notified about these irregularities. Duty officers on the night shift should be given warning so that they execute their duties.
Besides
, look at the recent complaints regarding the delay in breakfast serving and talk to the head chef. I look forward to hear from you as soon as possible. Yours sincerely, Lily
Submitted by jasmeetkaur2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: