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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many jobs used to be done at home by hands but nowadays, increasing number of them are done by machines instead. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of this.

#jobs #home #hands #machines
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In the modern era , a number of
work
 was done by
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
,
on the contrary
, it did by
people
 the
people
 so
this
 essay explores the disadvantages of
this
 statement.
First
 of all , numerous
people
 left their jobs due to the advanced technology and become unemployed ,
for example
 , a single machine does the same
work
 as 10
people
 ,
consequently
 , they lost their task , owing to the technology and without it , they feel like handicapped.
Moreover
 , it impacts their family budget and facing an economic crisis for the reason that they left the workshop ,
for
instance
 , nowadays , farming technology become popular rather than in the past ,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a result , labour cannot get
work
 to do farming in the field.
Furthermore
 , most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things are not too good as compared with handmade items , due to some reason ,
for
instance
 , there are lots of differences between those made by machines and
people
.
On the other hand
 , it can fulfil the demand of items , due to get thousands of things in a minute , it works fast rather than individual ,
for
instance
 , many objects which takes time when it made by
people
 ,
on the contrary
 , while machines established in just a minute.
Secondly
 , these types of thing
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 available in a very cheap range due to the material ,
for
instance
 , they only focus on stock so that they use low material to produce it ,
consequently
 , everyone can purchase it and they can meet their needs. In conclusion , both are important to the development of a country's economy so we can not avoid any single thing but the government should
work
 on the handmade businesses to establish them.
Submitted by ssangani6161 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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