In today's world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

There has an opinion among commentators that the writers who work in freight
transport
have to check and examined different aspects annually in order to have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
safe roads. I am strongly agreed with
this
standpoint and I will justify my reason in the paragraphs below. To commence, cargo vehicles usually are bigger and heavier than normal cars and these types of
cars
Change the noun form
car
show examples
accidents are a nightmare because
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
accidents will be made multitudinous decease and injuries compared to normal cars.
For instance
, the collision of a trailer which transported oil ended with an explosion in some cases.
Moreover
, good
transport
drivers drive along time in road and it is a kind of living for them.
as a result
of
this
condition, they try to engage the living activities to their jobs
such
as drinking alcohol or having a partner while driving. making these behaviours and accustomed to them could make
an immense consequences
Correct the article-noun agreement
an immense consequence
immense consequences
show examples
.
Therefore
, they have to undergo several tests and retraining courses in order to update their knowledge and comprehension of their crucial task in the transportation system.
In addition
, driving for a long time on the road is monotonous. Especially for whom do it as the only way to make money for their family. An increasing number of them struggling with mental illness for a long time.by regular driving ,test government will be able to find drivers with chronic illnesses and take the right action which is proper for both system and individuals.
such
as voluntary redundancy
Finally
testing good
transport
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
is vital for having a safe
transport
system and
this
action has to repeat regularly under government supervision.
Submitted by behzad.tahmouresi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: