IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
About 50% of
people
 believe that it is best to accept a bad issue
such
 as a disappointing career or lack of salary. Others think that it is a better way to try hard and improve that
situation
. In my opinion,
people
 should try to face and handle their problems rather than agree with undesirable issues. On the one hand, accepting a bad
situation
,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
 lack of money or an unsatisfactory career, can make several results.
People
 who agree with issues which make them feel not good, that means they find their jobs because they have a low condition and feel good with all requests
such
 as low salary, do not have career benefits.
On the other hand
,
people
 who think that trying hard and improving that condition will be successful in their life.
Firstly
, they can improve their job opportunities because they do not agree with a bad
situation
 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they will try hard,
learn
Correct word choice
and learn
show examples
 hard to improve themselves to have the best result in their job.
For instance
,
people
 who want to work in their dream company or dream job will learn, work and improve themselves to make their dream come true. In conclusion, some
people
 can accept bad problems but they should try their best to have the best
situation
.
Submitted by phanhai288 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
Look at other essays: