IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

“Some believe that people are naturally born leaders while others feel that leadership skills can develop. Discuss both views and give your opinion.”

#“some #people #leaders #leadership #skills
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
“Some believe that
people
Use synonyms
 are naturally born
leaders
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 others feel that
leadership
Use synonyms
 skills can develop. Discuss both views and give your opinion.” Introduction
According to
Linking Words
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 perspective
leadership
Use synonyms
 is a
god gifted
Add a hyphen
god-gifted
show examples
 quality that cannot be learned but
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
’s perspective and nothing in
this
Linking Words
 world can’t be learned with dedication and repetition.
Leadership
Use synonyms
 is an action
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
 a position.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 matter of fact
is that
Verb problem
,
show examples
 the practical meaning of
leadership
Use synonyms
 is far different from
theoretical
Add an article
the theoretical
show examples
 world. The bookish language will assist you for sure but to be a great leader, a person should hold two
qualities
Use synonyms
 courage and persistence
along with
Linking Words
 hard work and that leads him to enormous victories. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 if a person has
this
Linking Words
god gifted
Add a hyphen
god-gifted
show examples
 quality and yet does not utilize his true potential in terms of
leadership
Use synonyms
 that means he runs his own life by himself
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
on the other hand
Linking Words
 if a person aims to change he will ;indeed. ‘’Man cannot remake himself without suffering for he is both the marble and the sculpture’’ There is an example of
Use synonyms
leadership
Correct article usage
the leadership
show examples
qualities
Use synonyms
 of Nelson Mandela who always
think
Wrong verb form
thought
show examples
 for the next generation,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
never
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
election
Change preposition
on election
show examples
. He always
motivate
Wrong verb form
motivated
show examples
 his nation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and picked his nation from the darkness to
bright
Correct article usage
a bright
show examples
 future, he always talked about
rule
Correct article usage
the rule
show examples
 of law and never broke any law. And for those who think that
leadership
Use synonyms
qualities
Use synonyms
 can built
actually
Add a comma
actually,
show examples
 they were talking about politicians and politicians always
show-off
Correct your spelling
show off
show examples
 their activities
just
Correct word choice
and just
show examples
 act like
leaders
Use synonyms
 but they are not
leaders
Use synonyms
 and they
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 have
leadership
Use synonyms
qualities
Use synonyms
, they always
focused
Wrong verb form
focus
show examples
 just on the next election to make
people
Use synonyms
 fool. The best example of
such
Linking Words
 type
people
Use synonyms
 of is Nawaz Sharif from Pakistan. That applies to the fact that if you are desperate enough to attain heights of success
then
Linking Words
 for sure you will
attain
Correct pronoun usage
attain it
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
then
Linking Words
 ends the contradiction that
leadership
Use synonyms
 is a quality
people
Use synonyms
 are naturally born with, with dedication anyone can learn the art of
leadership
Use synonyms
, coming to the conclusion of my essay.
Leadership
Use synonyms
always
Add a missing verb
is always
show examples
 born naturally
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their
qualities
Use synonyms
 are GOD-GEFITED but
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 can
also
Linking Words
 learn a lot
Change preposition
of
show examples
Good
Qualities
Use synonyms
 as
leaders
Use synonyms
 have, with the passage of time.
Submitted by tauqeer.imperial on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: