IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Inspite of advancements made in agriculture there are some people still remain hungry. Give causes and solutions

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Agriculture
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 plays a vital role in providing food to the globe,
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in spite
inspite
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In inspite
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 of the advancement in
agriculture
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 many
people
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 in the world are still hungry. There are many reasons behind
this
Linking Words
problem
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.
This
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 essay will explore, how
industralisation
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industrialisation
industrialization
 and poor
government
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
policies
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polices
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policies
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 are the root cause of
this
Linking Words
problem
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 and how through effective
governments
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government
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planning
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planing
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planning
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,
this
Linking Words
problem
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 can be controlled to a large extent.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in the modern world
people
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 are focusing on
indutrialisation
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industrialisation
industrialization
 as they are converting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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agricultural
land
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in to
Join the words
into
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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industrial
land
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.
For example
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, in different
asian
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Asian
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countries
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,countries
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 we can see that at present the
land
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 for
agriculture
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 has been reduced much as compared to the past.Take an example of
Serilanka
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Srilanka
where
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were
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 a number of
people
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 are converting their
land
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in to
Join the words
into
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 an industrial area to earn money.
Secondly
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, there are many
advance
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advanced
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 technologies
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been introduced in
the
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apply
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agriculture
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 for increasing the production rate of crops and these advancements are very effective.
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In spite
Inspite
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In spite
 of
this
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 there are many
people
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remained
Correct pronoun usage
who remained
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hugry
Correct your spelling
hungry
 as they can not get access at cheap prices.
For instance
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, when food reached
to
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apply
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the market it becomes very expensive and out of reach to the layman as
some times
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sometimes
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 due the bad weather conditions like floods it will become very difficult to mobile the products to the market due to the poor
government
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Correct your spelling
policies
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polices
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policies
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, there are certain viable measures that can be taken to
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overcome
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over come
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overcome
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 these problems.The primary solution, I believe
government
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 should take action against these types of
people
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 by making strict laws against their actions.
Furthermore
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,the local
government
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 should make plans for bad days and
also
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 should
insure
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ensure
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 the availability of
appropriate
Correct article usage
an appropriate
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 transport system to mobile the harvested crops to the markets.
This
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problem
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 should be tackled through
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
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 transport system. To sum up, due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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universal disasters like floods, and
increase
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an increase
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 in industrialisation reduce the availability of enough food to the public. But with the help of appropriate steps taken by the
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government
Add a comma
,government
show examples
 these issues should be solved.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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