Study show that criminals have a low level of education. For this reason some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so they can get a job when they leave prison. Do you agree or diagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is research shows that criminals have a low level of education. So,
people
think
that is
necessary to minimise crime by educating prisoners in prison, which means they can find employees when they back to
society
. I partly agree with it, and
this
essay will explain why. The government need to allow criminals to have enough education, which makes them are easy to find a job. If they can not get a job, it will be difficult for them to feed themselves.
As a result
, they would try any possible way to get money, and even back to crime. In China, there are a number of
people
who just leave prison, they committed crimes again because they could not find jobs. If they have some useful skills that they learned in jail, there are more opportunities for them to start a career.
As a result
, they can support themself and start a new life.
However
,
people
with criminal records have been discriminated against a lot because of their status. When they return to
society
, many
people
will stay away from them because
people
think they are criminals.
Also
, there are many companies that do background checks on job seekers. If they found that the candidates with criminal records, they will reject applicants, no matter how good they are. These make them unable to integrate into
society
, and even hate
society
and commit crimes again. So, we should make efforts to lessen
this
discrimination. To sum up, educating
people
in prison is genuinely useful. But, we
also
need to focus on other issues.
Submitted by charlessung.hk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: