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Band 4.5

Many cities are now turning parks and farmland into new housing developments. Is this a positive or negative development?

#cities #parks #farmland #developments #development
In
this
 contemporary era,
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 rate is increasing
day-by-day
Correct your spelling
day by day
show examples
,
as a result
, demand for residential land is growing;
therefore
, several major
capital
Change to a plural noun
capitals
show examples
 started building
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
societies
Correct the article-noun agreement
society
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,
bunglows
Correct your spelling
bungalows
,
Correct your spelling
apartments
appartments
Correct your spelling
apartments
 and flats. I strongly believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
 trend would lead to negative impacts. To commence with,
firstly
, it can cause environmental degradation. As trees are responsible for cleaning the air, providing more oxygen and
absorb
Wrong verb form
absorbing
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 the carbon dioxide from the atmosphere, they play plays a vital role in human lives. To exemplify, cutting down parks and forests,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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not only
affect
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affects
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 the air
filteration
Correct your spelling
filtration
 process
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 causes various lung
Correct your spelling
diseases
dieases
Correct your spelling
diseases
, which may affect mankind adversely.
Secondly
, making domestic infrastructure on the farm places can be a reason for
hike
Add an article
the hike
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 in food
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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.
This
 is because,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of household projects, decreases the number of farming
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
Hence
, there will be
rise
Add an article
a rise
show examples
 in imported items
such
 as vegetables and fruits.
For instance
, Mumbai is considered
as
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
expensive
Add an article
an expensive
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 city. One has to pay more for lunch and dinner
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there as compared to other cities in India.
Moreover
, anyone can find it
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
daunting
Add an article
a daunting
show examples
 task to survive in Mumbai, where, even eatable items are costly
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they have to import
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 from downtown.
Lastly
, it becomes difficult to find
quiet
Add an article
a quiet
show examples
 place in
this
 concrete forest. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals
visits
Change the verb form
visit
show examples
such
 places for mental piece after
hectic
Add an article
a hectic
show examples
 day but due to
this
 development, they will not be able to find parks and little forest nearby, which in
return
Replace the word
turn
show examples
 leads to society,
full
Add a missing verb
being full
show examples
 of mentally disturbed and depressed people. On
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
close scrutiny, it can be concluded that
negatives
Correct article usage
the negatives
show examples
 of housing development
such
 as air degradation and
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 rate of food, clearly outweigh the positives.
Submitted by adp14179 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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