Some people think that countries should limit the amount of food that they import and mainly eat products from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it is a mistake
importing
Change the verb form
to import
show examples
food
from other countries as local
food
producers
have enough products for consumers, and
this
trend
schould
Correct your spelling
should
be changed. I m
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
agree with
this
statement, and I think endemic farmers and
food
companies must be privileged.
Firstly
,
topical
Correct your spelling
tropical
show examples
plants and other
animal based
Add a hyphen
animal-based
show examples
foodstuff
Fix the agreement mistake
foodstuffs
show examples
are healthier because of their freshness and they are cheaper than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
imported ones.
Shorter
Add an article
The shorter
show examples
way that vegetables and fruits
goes
Change the verb form
go
show examples
thrue
Correct your spelling
through
from farms to markets
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is better because they keep the vitamins and oligo elements inside them.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
those
plantbased
Correct your spelling
plant-based
plant based
products which are imported
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
to be
harvest
Wrong verb form
harvested
show examples
much earlier
due to
the long
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
way to other
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
markets.
For
this
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
producers
treats
Change the verb form
treat
show examples
them with lots of
chimicals
Correct your spelling
chemicals
to keep the freshness.
Same
Change the article
The same
show examples
thing
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
happening with
meathbased
Correct your spelling
meat-based
Meath-based
foods too. To keep the warranty as long as
posible
Correct your spelling
possible
, the meat has to be treated with
chimicals
Correct your spelling
chemicals
, which is
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
our health. More than that, the way from farms to shops is shorter ,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
cost of transportation is cheaper, which is reflected in the prices.
Secondly
,
limiting
Change preposition
by limiting
show examples
the amount of
food
that we import we support the local
bussinisses
Correct your spelling
businesses
and farmers,
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
show examples
the local budget is enriched. It is obvious
,
Correct word choice
that, purchesing
show examples
Change preposition
by purchesing
show examples
purchesing
Correct your spelling
purchasing
our foods from autochthon
producers
we
contribut
Correct your spelling
contribute
to those
companies
Change noun form
companies'
show examples
profits which profit will return
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
local development through taxes and profit reinvestments by the companies. More than that, the
money-reinvestment
Correct your spelling
money reinvestment
show examples
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
the locals
well
Rephrase
apply
show examples
being
Verb problem
well-being
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
higher level. In conclusion, I strongly believe importing less
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
and supporting the local
producers
are the best for our
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
and
also
is profitable for us and for our whole
communitie
Correct your spelling
community
.
Submitted by virlicstunde on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Address the prompt more directly and consider presenting both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas and use transition words to improve coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: