The growing number of overweight people is putting starin on health care systems in an effort to deal with health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical eductaion lessons in school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #starin #health #care #systems #effort #eductaion #lessons #school #curriculum

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Dealing with

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

health related

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

issues of obese people nowadays is being considered stressful on health care systems as the population of

Correct your spelling

overweight

show examples

over weight

Correct your spelling

overweight

show examples

is on the rise. Giving importance to physical education by increasing the number of classes in

Use synonyms

school

Add an article

the school

show examples

curriculum is a way to sort out

this

Linking Words

matter according to some individuals. I strongly disagree

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

Linking Words

statement

with

Change preposition

for

show examples

appropriate reasons which are mentioned below to support my dissent.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it will be wrong to say that pupils will remember everything taught at

school

Use synonyms

for the rest of their life.

For example

Linking Words

, we usually forget the lessons or subjects studied in

school

Use synonyms

after

certain

Add an article

a certain

show examples

period of time

that is

Linking Words

some may forget after

examination

Fix the agreement mistake

examinations

show examples

or some may forget later on after moving to college.

Obesity

Use synonyms

is purely due to

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of physical inactivity

in addition

Linking Words

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

Hence

Linking Words

it will be more beneficial if the employer gives importance to physical activity and/or indoor-outdoor activities as a part of

employee

Correct article usage

the employee

show examples

fitness program.

Secondly

Linking Words

, increasing the number of lessons on physical

Correct your spelling

education

eductaion

Correct your spelling

education

or making physical education mandatory cannot reduce

obesity

Use synonyms

. If the student itself is not interested in the subject, no matter how much importance one gives, if not followed practically

then

Linking Words

it is of no use.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

we all know that people smoke

Correct your spelling

in spite

inspite

Correct your spelling

in spite

of being aware of its dangerous effects on the body.

Thus

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

sum up

show examples

sum-up

Correct your spelling

sum up

show examples

, I strongly disagree

Change preposition

with

show examples

increasing physical education lessons in

school

Use synonyms

to tackle increasing

obesity

Use synonyms

. It will only help in creating some awareness but not reducing

obesity

Use synonyms

unless the government fines for leading

Correct article usage

an in-active

show examples

in-active

Correct your spelling

inactive

show examples

lifestyle.

Submitted by janetjai08 on Mon Sep 12 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Directors and managers of organization are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that manager levels are often elderly communities. While it is commonly held belief that it is better for young people to become leaders in organisations, there is also an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that young nations should have a chance to be at the managerial level.
7.5
band
Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?
There is no denying the fact that these days, there are modern ways to work. While it is a commonly held belief that it would be better if the employees worked from their homes instead of travelling every day to their workplace, there is also an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that there are many benefits of working from home.
<4
band
Some people are very strict about their school uniforms and the apprearance of their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed dress cod
In this modern era, it is increasingly common in most universities that students can wear dress as per their comfort zone. Some schools are extremely strict about their uniforms, and they want children to follow them. In this essay, I will explain the merits and demerits.
5
band
3)Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is increasing debate on whether longer duration of work is truly beneficial. While some believe that this model should continue on as it has shown to benefit a country's economic status, others, along with myself, diasgree with this sentiment as it can have negative effects on the physical and mental wellbeing of those in the workforce.
5.5
band
In many countries, truancy* is a worrying problem for both parents and educators. •What are the causes of truancy, and what may be the effects on the child and the wider community? •* truancy = the situation when a child pretends to go to school but in fact goes somewhere else, for example to play unsupervised. The verb is 'to play truant from school.'
Truancy is a significant concern for parents and tutors in several nations. The main problems this cause is harassment and finding the social stress from the classmates and the aftereffects would be bad behaviour of the child.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Directors and managers of organization are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people are very strict about their school uniforms and the apprearance of their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed dress cod

3)Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?