IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #media #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #ability #form #relationships
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Social media has a tremendous impact on the younger
generation
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 today. While some believe that it has limited the ability of an adolescent to maintain personal relations as they limit themselves behind four walls of their home. Others debate that social media sites have brought
people
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 from different countries together, sharing their lives with each other. In my opinion, the negative impact is greater than its benefits, as I will explain.
Firstly
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 lets us elaborate on what personal relations are, the ability to connect with others
face
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 to
face
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, knowing their strengths and weakness, which is possible when you spend time with each other. It brings out the ability to share and care and makes a person a better human.
Therefore
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 the younger
generation
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 can learn more as they share experiences with one another, which is possible only through a personal
connection
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.
On the other hand
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, a few of the masses believe that online
connection
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 has bought
people
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 of diverse cultures together,
this
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 is true to some extent,
however
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, meeting
people
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 online can be dangerous to personal information. Statistics state that youngsters are prone to depression, leading to suicidal cases on account of online blackmailing, bridge of data eg accounts getting hacked. The
generation
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 today prefers confining itself to the four walls of their home, which lowers their confidence to
face
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 the real world. Social media does have a few positives in bringing
people
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 together,
however
Linking Words
, we cannot neglect the power of creating relations on a personal level. The younger
generation
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 will need to step into the real world and
face
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 real-life circumstances which require a personal
connection
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.
Therefore
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 in my view, an online
connection
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 cannot replace a one-to-one
connection
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.
Submitted by jai302 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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