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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #variety #food #areas #regions #trend
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At the present time, some
foods
 in other
regions
 become more and more popular among
people
.
While
this
 trend has certain detrimental effects, I personally think that the beneficial effects are more considerable. On the one hand, eating
foods
 from other
regions
 can have some downsides.
To begin
 with, it costs more money to eat
food
 from other areas than local
food
.
This
 is mainly because the prices of
this
 kind of
food
 include transportation fees over a long distance
as well as
 taxes for importing.
For example
, cherries cannot be planted in some areas, so when
people
 want to eat them, they have to buy them at higher prices.
In addition
, eating
food
 from other
regions
 may have negative effects on their health. The main reason is that when they deliver
food
 for days, some
food
 can be spoiled.
Also
, some
foods
 may contain a lot of preservatives which are harmful to consumers’ health.
On the other hand
, I personally believe that the upsides of eating
foods
 from other
regions
 are more significant. The first advantage is that
people
 can have access to a wide variety of
food
.
For example
, blueberries, a kind of fruit planted in temperate zones, can be bought everywhere.
Therefore
, consumers may easily have a rich and balanced diet that contains various nutritious
foods
. The second advantage is that when
people
 buy some
food
 from other
regions
, they can help develop the economy.
This
 is mainly because local farmers and
food
 producers need to improve their product quality to increase competitiveness.
Besides
, when
people
 expand their business model, they can create many jobs for many workers. In conclusion,
while
 eating
foods
 from other
regions
 can have several drawbacks, I am firmly convinced that the benefits are more considerable.
Submitted by huynhtrucminhthu39 on

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task achievement
Good job in addressing the prompt and presenting a well-organized response. Ensure that your supporting points are directly connected to the main topic and provide specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure with an effective introduction and conclusion. Make sure to use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the essay and create coherence between paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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