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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Most modern families have both parents working as a result children spend less and less time with their parents. What is the reason for this? What problems can this cause?

#families #parents #children #time #reason
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Nowadays, more and more families tend to have dual career
parents
, whereas the phenomenon has led to children's lack of company.
This
 essay will examine the main causes of
this
 societal issue and possible negative influences on children who are not able to stay enough time with their fathers and mothers. There is the main reason for the percentage of working
parents
 has gone up in recent years. It is to say that people have paid more attention to promoting feminism. A woman's job was to stay at home taking care of her family,
such
 as cooking or looking after kids.
However
, with the advent of women's rights advocacy, families in loads of countries are not as traditional as they used to be.
For example
, both
parents
 tend to work full-time. Because of
this
, young people may be left alone, or with nannies or babysitters.
As a result
, offspring and their
parents
 seem to be less close at present. The lack of closeness in families can have negative effects on teens.
Firstly
, offspring spend more time with their friends, which would result in being influenced easily by peer pressure.
Moreover
, some teenagers join gangs because their fathers and mothers are no idea how their kids spend their time. A salient example is that juvenile delinquency is on the increase over the years because young people do not find a positive role model at home. These indicate that when busy
parents
 have less contact with their offspring, it indeed has some bad consequences for youngsters. In conclusion,
although
 working
parents
 in the modern world may be a symbol related to feminism, the problems
such
 as children's behaviour are not be ignored.
Submitted by a0111590317 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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