IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that coins and paper money will vanish in a few years. We will only use plastic cards or some other form of electronic currency. Is this a positive or negative development.

#people #coins #paper #money #years #plastic #cards #form #currency #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Advances in modern technology have allowed us to change traditional trading systems over the course of time. some believe that physical money will disappear in the upcoming era and other forms of payment mode will be used in everyday life. I strongly opine on
this
Linking Words
 trend as, not all individuals are well versed with electronic transactions and
also
Linking Words
, coins and paper are environment-friendly.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the substitution of the current currency system with another will be difficult to cope with.
This
Linking Words
 is due to the fact that not every individual is educated enough to understand an online transaction method.
For instance
Linking Words
, senior citizens and illiterate people will rely on others to carry out a simple
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to an elevated rate of cyber crimes.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, an electronic currency will require an Internet connection, upgraded phones or laptops. Impoverished people cannot afford
such
Linking Words
 amenities.
Thus
Linking Words
, due to the dependency of
such
Linking Words
 a method on various factors ,
this
Linking Words
 can not be adapted by all. Another reason to stand against
this
Linking Words
 drift is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 plastic cards shouldn’t be considered as currency in the forthcoming years since it is not eco-friendly. Production of a huge lot of plastic cards will require an enormous amount of the same to be made which can put an extra burden on the surroundings.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, paper notes are easy to recycle and we melt the metals to form other coins. Whereas,
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
 is true in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 plastic cash as recycling
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
 material is not possible.
Hence
Linking Words
, it can prove to be detrimental to the environment. To conclude, technical advancement has touched every aspect of our life, but diversity in fund transfers and methods of payment will force us to summon challenges which can not be handled.
Submitted by godhaniaradhana03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: