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Band 4

YOUR FAMILY HAS RECENTLY TAKEN UP 'NO TECHNOLOGY' CHALLENGE

#technology #challenge
Dear Emily, It's been ages since I
Iast
Correct your spelling
Last
 heard from you. How have you been? I'm writing
this
 email to tell you about the 'no
technology
' challenge that I recently took place
in
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apply
show examples
. So here it goes. When I was scrolling on my phone,an ad popped up on my Instagram reels called ' a week without
technology'
Correct your spelling
technology
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. I was so interested to join in because I realised how dependent I was
in
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on
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technology-it's
Change the noun form
technology-its
technology-it
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 like a
wake up
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wake-up
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 call
for
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apply
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me. I asked my whole family to join in. Surprisingly, they were on the same page as me. While being in the challenge, I won't be able to use the
technology
 means no television,computers,phones
and
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or
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 even water heater. At
first
, it was so hard for me to adapt
not
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and not
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relying
Wrong verb form
rely
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 on
technology
 as I usually did. I mean, even my brother was so jaded to not
hooked
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be hooked
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 on his phone all day long playing games -he seem to suffer so much. To speak my mind, the hardest part of it was when I tried to make
the
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apply
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dinner for the family. Imagine not knowing the traditional way to light up
fire
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a fire
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with
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by
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 only using stones. But
then
, I applied my
science
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scientific
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 knowledge
on
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to
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 it and it worked !- I managed to make a spark. Despite that, my whole family would agree that we all struggled to not have phones on our
hand
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hands
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 since
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
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 has always been glued
on
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to
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 - it's like an addiction. After a week, we realised that our
habit
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habits
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 has changed. Now,My brother
spend
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spends
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 more
time
 communicating with others- he can even speak for England now. It's a positive change
right
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,right
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? For me, the positive side of the challenge is I tend to spend more
time
 with my family and friends.Like before, I used to spend most of my
time
 using phones
in
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apply
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no matter what do . At that
time
, I was a fool that I didn't
realised
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realise
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it's
Wrong verb form
it was
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 unhealthy and can damage my eye. That actually explained why I have
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 giant glasses that I have to wear
everyday
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every day
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. I'm afraid I have to go now. Send my regards to your family. Till
then
,take care! Love, Henry
Submitted by ermasuri on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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