Some people think giving time to career improvement is more important, others believe giving time to family and friends is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is argued that some individuals believe
people
should spend most of their time
beside their family members and friends
, however
some others beg to differ; they believe Add a comma
,however
career
is much more important and Add an article
a career
people
should spend enough time
to enhance
it. In my opinion, both viewpoints are logical, but obviously improving Wrong verb form
enhancing
career
is a priority. In Correct pronoun usage
my career
this
essay
both views will be discussed.
Add a comma
,essay
For
the beginning, some Change preposition
In
people
are interested to spend more time
with their family, feeling it more
helpful, and more interesting.
Spending more Add a missing verb
is more
time
within
family and Change preposition
with
friends
has numerous benefits such
as, having more fun and getting relaxed. For instance
, a short trip or even a picnic with friends
or family would help people
to clear their mind
, and it provides Fix the agreement mistake
minds
people
a
great memory. Add the preposition
with a
In addition
, some people
prefer to spend more time
with their friends
and family, feeling responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
about
them and their problems, so they would spend much more Change preposition
for
time
around them to make them happy, and keep them away from disasters.
On the other hand
, some individuals believe that career
is more important, so Correct article usage
a career
people
should spend more time
for
that. In the main Change preposition
on
time
all Add a comma
,time
people
are trying to improve themselves in different fields, such
as occupation. Obviously
it is logical for Add a comma
,Obviously
people
to spend more time
to enhance
their skills in order to improve their Change the verb form
enhancing
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
,
because Remove the comma
apply
firstly
, people
should do their best to conquer the rivalries in societies. For
instance
a job opportunity needs a large portion of Add a comma
,instance
time
and a professional career
. Secondly
, it is about an instinct in humans. Making people
to
go on and try their best, they believe they should be useful and get better every day, occasionally spending more Change the verb form
apply
time
to
their Change preposition
on
career
is the most effective way for them to reach their desires.
In conclusion, there is a conflict among people
. Some people
believe people
should allocate more time
to their family and friends
, while some others say career
is absolutely more important, which needs more Correct article usage
a career
time
. In my opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
career
is always prior to everything else, in order to improve our selves
and get better every day.Correct your spelling
ourselves
Submitted by Bardiaa.alaeddini on
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.