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Writing Samples
Band 5

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT MUSIC, ART AND DRAMA ARE MORE IMPORTANT AS OTHER SCHOOL SUBJECTS, ESPECIALLY AT PRIMARY LEVEL. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#people #music #art #drama #school #subjects #level
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Leisure
time
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 is important for
people
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 to recover from stress and relax. There is a wide range of
activities
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 that
people
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 usually spend
time
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 on during their spare
time
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. Many
people
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 choose to spend their
time
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 engaging in
activities
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 that train their attention, whereas others prefer to engage in passive
activities
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both points of view and will give my opinion as follows.Reading, word puzzles
,
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apply
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 and yoga are examples of hobbies that some
people
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 believe are beneficial to their health and minds.
People
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 believe that
by
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apply
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joining in these
activities
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, they can help
people
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 enhance their attention span and stay focused on their daily life.
As a result
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, some
people
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 believe that they should spend their free
time
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 participating in these
activities
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.
On the other hand
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, it is undeniable that each individual has a unique method of recharging energy. Some
people
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,
for example
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, enjoy physical
activities
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 or extreme sports, but others relax by listening to music and watching movies.
As a result
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, there is no right or wrong answer to
this
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 question. Considering
this
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, if
people
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 who like extreme sports had to spend their free
time
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 doing meditation or gardening, they would feel good about the opportunity to better their minds, but the amount of their happiness would be different.
As a result
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, we cannot impose our ideas on others. Everyone is free to do anything they want and whatever is best for them. In conclusion, I believe that spending leisure
time
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 doing hobbies is a personal choice.
People
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 should be able to select how they want to refuel their energy without being
labeled
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labelled
show examples
 as helpful or worthless.
Submitted by krongporn.c on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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