Some people believe arts such as painting and music cannot directly improve quality of peoples life, so that governments money should be spent on other things. How far do you agree or disagree?

#people #arts #music #quality #peoples #life #governments #money

Some

section

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sections

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public

Correct article usage

the public

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feel

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feels

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that quality of life is not enhanced when the

government

invests funds

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arts

like painting and music

instead

it should be spent on other entities. I agree

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with

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this

statement to a greater extent with adequate supportive reasons stated below.

First

and foremost,

healthcare

is an important sector which cannot be ignored. During its initial days, Covid-19 had posed a challenge to the entire globe. The

government

was struggling to contain the disease due to poor medical infrastructure and

less

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fewer

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healthcare

professionals

thus

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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tight patient care.

Hence

, investing

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infrastructure to establish more health clinics or hospitals as well as funding medical education to attract more medical

staffs

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staff

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will help tackle the problem in near future.

This

will

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in turn

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inturn

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in turn

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create many employment opportunities and thereby

quality

Add an article

the quality

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of life will get better.

Secondly

arts

significantly

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a significantly

the significantly

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smaller segment,

hence

, the revenue generated by music or paintings is substantially less. Employment opportunities produced are

also

significantly lesser when compared to other sectors like

healthcare

and innovation. Lower revenue indicates its poor performance. Investing in

such

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the such

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field

Correct article usage

a field

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can be a loss to the

government

as it fails to yield adequate profits.

For example

, at any given point in time hospitals will have more customers when compared to an art museum.

However

arts

cannot be ignored and require adequate

government

support through funds to help flourish around. There are still a lot of people in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society who make a living by composing music and painting. Artists have improved their standard of living by practising various forms of art.

For example

, M F Hussain who was a well-renowned artist from India received backing from the Indian

government

financially for promoting art. To summarise, it is realised that

healthcare

requires major financial aid from the authority when compared to

arts

due to the emergence of the pandemic. More fund means the availability of modern infrastructure and health care technology to the general public to tackle the disease.

Submitted by janetjai08 on Thu Sep 15 2022

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

329 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe arts such as painting and music cannot directly improve quality of peoples life, so that governments money should be spent on other things. How far do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Many claim that the fast-food industry has a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and families. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences. You should write at least 250 words.

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called "peer pressure". Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

The rate of unemployment in some countries is high. Because of this, there is no need to complete an education beyond a primary school level. Write an essay either for or against this position. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.