IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many young people are motivated and successful at high school. Many others, however, lack motivation and see high school as irrelevant to their interests and needs. Why is this? What could be done to help all students succeed?

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Introduction
Nowadays, many high
school
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 have
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
motivation
Use synonyms
 to their
school
Use synonyms
 and gain success in
school
Use synonyms
 life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
students
Use synonyms
 who cannot have plenty of
motivation
Use synonyms
 and recognize their high schools as irrelevant to their interests and what they want. I suppose the cause of
this
Linking Words
situation
Use synonyms
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
pressure
Use synonyms
 of study and
future
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I believe that
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
implementation
Use synonyms
 of non-academic
classes
Use synonyms
 at high
school
Use synonyms
 will be a
solution
Use synonyms
 to
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Body paragraph 1
When I think reasons of
depress
Replace the word
depression
show examples
 and
low-
Correct your spelling
low motivation
show examples
motivation
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 high
school
Use synonyms
, the reason might be the
pressure
Use synonyms
 for
entrance
Correct article usage
the entrance
show examples
exam
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
. Recently,
tendency
Add an article
the tendency
show examples
 of putting
value
Add an article
a value
show examples
 on
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
 background is notable in society. Of course, brilliant grades
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 needed for gaining the right for entering
high-level
Correct article usage
a high-level
show examples
university
Use synonyms
. Many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
hopes
Change the verb form
hope
show examples
 their children
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
pass the famous
Use synonyms
university’s
Change noun form
university
show examples
entering
Replace the word
entrance
show examples
exam
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
situation
Use synonyms
 will
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
excessive
pressure
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
students
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
I believe that
Use synonyms
implementation
Correct article usage
the implementation
show examples
 of non-academic
Use synonyms
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 in high
school
Use synonyms
 might be a
solution
Use synonyms
 to improve the
situation
Use synonyms
. As I wrote, adolescent
students
Use synonyms
 need opportunities to escape from
daily
Add an article
the daily
a daily
show examples
 rush to relieve their
stress
Use synonyms
. Holding non-academic
Use synonyms
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 is not only achieving
this
Linking Words
 aim
,
Add the word(s)
but,
show examples
also
Linking Words
 a
chance
Use synonyms
 to find
interesting
Add an article
an interesting
the interesting
show examples
theme
Fix the agreement mistake
themes
show examples
 that
relate
Change the verb form
relates
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
future
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
student
Add an article
the student
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, enjoying music and arts in non-academic
Use synonyms
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 with friends is meaningful for high-
school
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 because it will be
Use synonyms
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to learn
building
Change the verb form
to build
show examples
 good
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
 and give
motivation
Use synonyms
 for continuing to go
high
Change preposition
to high
show examples
school
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 3
In recent days, keeping
Use synonyms
motivation
Correct article usage
the motivation
show examples
 of high
school
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 to go their
school
Use synonyms
 is so difficult. They hold a lot of
stress
Use synonyms
 for their
future
Use synonyms
 and
pressure
Use synonyms
 from their
parents
Use synonyms
. If high
school
Use synonyms
 has non-academic
classes
Use synonyms
, it will relieve the difficult
situation
Use synonyms
 and be
Use synonyms
motivation
Correct article usage
a motivation
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
students
Use synonyms
.
school
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 have
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
motivation
Use synonyms
 to their
school
Use synonyms
 and gain success in
school
Use synonyms
 life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
students
Use synonyms
 who cannot have plenty of
motivation
Use synonyms
 and recognize their high schools as irrelevant to their interests and what they want. I suppose the cause of
this
Linking Words
situation
Use synonyms
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
pressure
Use synonyms
 of study and
future
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I believe that
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
implementation
Use synonyms
 of non-academic
classes
Use synonyms
 at high
school
Use synonyms
 will be a
solution
Use synonyms
 to
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Body paragraph 4
When I think reasons of
depress
Replace the word
depression
show examples
 and
low-
Correct your spelling
low motivation
show examples
motivation
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 high
school
Use synonyms
, the reason might be the
pressure
Use synonyms
 for
entrance
Correct article usage
the entrance
show examples
exam
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
. Recently,
tendency
Add an article
the tendency
show examples
 of putting
value
Add an article
a value
show examples
 on
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
 background is notable in society. Of course, brilliant grades
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 needed for gaining the right for entering
high-level
Correct article usage
a high-level
show examples
university
Use synonyms
. Many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
hopes
Change the verb form
hope
show examples
 their children
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
pass the famous
Use synonyms
university’s
Change noun form
university
show examples
entering
Replace the word
entrance
show examples
exam
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
situation
Use synonyms
 will
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
excessive
pressure
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
students
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 5
I believe that
Use synonyms
implementation
Correct article usage
the implementation
show examples
 of non-academic
Use synonyms
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 in high
school
Use synonyms
 might be a
solution
Use synonyms
 to improve the
situation
Use synonyms
. As I wrote, adolescent
students
Use synonyms
 need opportunities to escape from
daily
Add an article
the daily
a daily
show examples
 rush to relieve their
stress
Use synonyms
. Holding non-academic
Use synonyms
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 is not only achieving
this
Linking Words
 aim
,
Add the word(s)
but,
show examples
also
Linking Words
 a
chance
Use synonyms
 to find
interesting
Add an article
an interesting
the interesting
show examples
theme
Fix the agreement mistake
themes
show examples
 that
relate
Change the verb form
relates
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
future
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
student
Add an article
the student
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, enjoying music and arts in non-academic
Use synonyms
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 with friends is meaningful for high-
school
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 because it will be
Use synonyms
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to learn
building
Change the verb form
to build
show examples
 good
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
 and give
motivation
Use synonyms
 for continuing to go
high
Change preposition
to high
show examples
school
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In recent days, keeping
Use synonyms
motivation
Correct article usage
the motivation
show examples
 of high
school
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 to go their
school
Use synonyms
 is so difficult. They hold a lot of
stress
Use synonyms
 for their
future
Use synonyms
 and
pressure
Use synonyms
 from their
parents
Use synonyms
. If high
school
Use synonyms
 has non-academic
classes
Use synonyms
, it will relieve the difficult
situation
Use synonyms
 and be
Use synonyms
motivation
Correct article usage
a motivation
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
students
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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