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Writing Samples
Band 5

Most people pay taxes to contribute to the development of their country, however, some think they have other responsibilities rather than paying taxes. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Most
countries
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 across the world collect
taxes
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 from citizens to develop their nations, and
this
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 amount of money can be used to enhance many beneficial aspects. Some people reckon that
taxes
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 are essential for driving the nations and being willing to pay them,
while
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 others argue that they can do other useful activities for the nations rather than paying them.
This
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 essay will mention the benefits of
taxes
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 in order to improve the
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countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
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 and suggest some possible tasks that residents can do
for replacing
Change preposition
to replace
show examples
taxes
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. On the one hand, there are numerous advantages of tariffs in terms of national development. First of all, the authority has the budget for improving comprehensive infrastructure to better the well-being of their citizens
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as roads, public transport, hospitals, schools, and so on. To illustrate, the roads in the
Netherlands
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 and Belgium
interpret
Verb problem
reflect
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 the difference in the amount of
taxes
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 collected between the two
countries
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. The
Netherlands
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, which collects higher
taxes
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, has
more smooth
Correct word choice
smoother
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 and more constant roads compared to Belgium, which collects fewer tariffs.
Moreover
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, the government can improve human resources by spending expenses supporting education.
For example
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, the students in the
Netherlands
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 do not need to pay for tuition fees, books, or even uniforms until graduating from university. As
the
Correct article usage
a
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 result, the country will have an abundance of skilled people to enhance the nation.
On the other hand
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, some individuals believe that they can do other things to
subsidize
Use the right word
subsidise
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 the huge amount of money that they need to pay daily, monthly, and yearly.
To begin
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, they can volunteer
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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by sacrificing time and energy to help poor residents who need help.
For instance
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, the
Netherlands
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,
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apply
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 have a system
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 in which teenagers can collect hours for looking after elders, and when they get old, they will be looked after for the same time as they did in the past.
Therefore
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,
instead
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 of paying money, citizens can have alternative options to be invaluable. In conclusion, tariffs are imperative to elevate the livelihood of individuals and the infrastructure of the nation. Without it, the
countries
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 will never be developed. In my opinion,
although
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 there are other ways to be beneficial,
taxes
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 are still needed to
resume
Verb problem
remain
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 in order to benefit everyone in the nation.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion. This helps the reader understand your view.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas better. For example, use 'furthermore,' 'however,' or 'in addition' to give your essay a smoother flow.
task achievement
Provide clearer examples that directly support your points, especially in the second paragraph. This will make your arguments stronger.
coherence and cohesion
You have a good introduction that clearly presents the topic and the two views.
task achievement
Your essay contains relevant ideas and examples that show a good understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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